On my day off yesterday I decided to venture to the mall, as I was told I should, nay had to go see James Cameron's new movie called Look What I Can Do.....um sorry Avatar. I don't know if I enjoyed it as much as everyone else, its quite a beautiful movie to look at, and Cameron did wonders with the smurfs, my how they have grown; however, it was something else that caught my attention, something that was on the package for the 3D glasses that I recieved. On the back was a warning that the glasses were not to be worn outside, they couldn't be used as sunglasses, do we really need a warning for this, the sad truth is that yes we do need a warning for this. Because you and I know that if there is no warning there is somebody in the world who will try and use these as sunglasses, thinking it could help them. Quite frankly if you think you can use glasses that help enhance things to stare at the sun you should not be allowed outside to begin with.
The warning on the glasses got me thinking about other warnings that you see on things, warnings that should be common sense yet sadly have to be spelled out so the rubes of society won't kill theirselves. How many bottles of chemicals do you see that say this should not be drank, I know most of them are for kids, but they shouldn't be in the reach of kids anyway, if you don't know that there's a warning for that too. In one episode of the Simpsons when the family is watching a commercial for some product I can't remember, Homer says "see because of me there is a warning" sadly this happens far too often, so I think there should be another warning underneath that saids "Warning, you may get a little stupider reading the previous warning."
The one warning that has never made sense to me is the tag on mattresses that strictly forbids the owner from removing the tag of the mattress. I always wondered why this was so important and just how strictly it is enforced. I mean is there a matress tag task force that storms houses if they hear of tags getting removed. Maybe NBC could make a new Law and Order, call it Law and Order: Matress Unit, lets face it NBC could use some new shows, there's only so much Jay Leno you can put on to fill time am I right. Maybe the tag is some kind of tracking device that lets the government know what your doing at all times, all you conspiracy theorists try and sleep tonight now.
Finally, there are the warnings that you see on tv in drug commercials. When the warning for side effects for the drug is longer then the part about the drug itself, perhaps it's not such a miracle drug. I guess the thinking that if the person taking the drug feels all these side effects, they will forget about the pain they are feeling, it's the old stomp on a person's foot to make them forget about their headache technique. There's even warnings for good side effects like lasting more then four and half hours from pills like Viagra, frankly I wouldn't consult my doctor I'd be feeling pretty good about myself. Maybe they should use Viagra as an anti-depressent, I know if I was depressed and used it that I'd have something to brag about, or collapse with blood loss, but hey I couldn't be sad if I was unconscious.
It saddens me a little that we live in a society where we have to be told what to do so much. Obviously it's good that we have laws and some order, but the fact that people have to be told to not stick their hands on an electrified fence scares me somewhat. This is why I could never be a good parent, because my belief is let them try it once, then they will learn, does little Barney want some drano with supper, yes let him try it, if he recovers he will have learned a valauble lesson, milk does a body good, but drano sends you to the hospital.
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