The Chicken Hero Saga Chapter 10: Caged Heat

  In the week that followed the imprisonment of the Deboner things had gotten boring.  There was a momentary glimpse of excitement when he fell out of the bed one morning, but attempts to prove if the bed had turned evil proved fruitless for the Hero.  Sure the harvest was as busy as ever, but there was no sense of imminent danger, only the constant worry that the aged serving wench Marius would expire at any minute.  He wasn't sure if he was the only one who saw that black faceless guy in the robe following her, but hey, she had asked for someone to follow her with a meal so he thought nothing of it. He would do anything to cure his boredom, he even began to partake in the games of Bogeyus the procurer of goods, seeing how many items in the harvest he could count at one time, and then trying to beat that record the next day, the life of a procurer of goods was no life at all, all they did was read, and read, and read.

  Taking a walk to clear his head the Hero found himself at the mall of Avalon, but it must have been early as it seemed none of the shops were open, and there were very few townsfolk there.  He looked down to check his portable wrist sundial but as it was raining it was of little help.  He made a mental note to invent a type of sundial that ran on batteries, he then made a mental note to invent batteries.  At this hour the mall of Avalon seemed like a ghost town, he thought how funny the idea of a ghost town would be, ghost store owners, ghost blacksmiths, ghost kids flying their ghost kites, he chuckled to himself at the absurdity of this scenario, but as he began to look around the chuckle vanished, for as he looked around he noticed something wasn't right, something wasn't right at all.

  It had been too early for the shops in the mall of Avalon to open, but yet there townsfolk enclosed in all the stores, sorting out things, arranging things here, and putting things there. This would seem mostly normal if there weren't barriers set up stopping these people from leaving the store.  It wasn't just one shop that had the wall put up but all of them, in each store there was one, maybe even two people trapped, looking out him in fear like a serving wench at the harvest when the mother of all serving wenches went on a rampage. He ran to the nearest shop and banged on the glass partition as hard as he could, it was a strong glass, one that could even stop bullets, if bullets had been invented yet.  He screamed at the no doubt frightened peasant shop girl "DON'T WORRY LITTLE ONE, I WILL GET YOU OUT OF HERE!" to which the girl responded "I'm sorry sir we don't open till ten." Such a brave girl, but she was obviously terrified, he knew the girl most have been worried about who would cook her husband's meals if she were barricaded in there forever, but that she was trying to put on a brave front.  He ran to all the barricaded shops screaming that he would save every last one of them, and they all responded with the same quizzical look and the same response "I'm sorry sir we don't open till 10." What was going on here? Were they all being programmed to say that? What else were they being programmed to do? Running as fast as he could, he arrived where the people usually congregated and took a break at the mall of Avalon, the intermission.


................................................INTERMISSION...........................................................................


  Now that he had made it through the intermission with nothing happening he began to search for what could cause the people to be contained like this.  To the Hero the mall of Avalon had always been strange, parts of the year townsfolk dropped off gifts to the massive tree god known as the Tree of Happiness, other parts of year townsfolk  took their children to get the picture taken with a over sized bunny rabbit, and there was also a place where you could buy bread twisted into irregular shapes. As he searched for some way, any way to free these people something registered in his mind, it was something all those trapped workers had said, a time, ten o'clock, whatever was happening must be happening then, he looked down at his portable wrist sundial, but since he was inside that didn't help much, in frustration he cast the watch aside, it had always bothered him anyway. Not knowing what else to do the threw things at the barricade hoping the walls would fall, he wished his brother Robbieus was here, as could probably take the barricades and throw them two towns over.

  As he tossed every item he could find he was enveloped by a massive shadow, and an overwhelming scent of pine freshness.  He turned to see the biggest tree he had ever seen and knew without a doubt it was the tree god the Tree of Happiness.  His voice boomed as he spoke "WHO GOES THERE?"..........."It is I the Hero, and I have come to free these people." "THESE PEOPLE BELONG TO ME NOW, THERE IS NO HOPE FOR THEM." "Listen here you overstuffed pine cone, I am not leaving here without these people, free them at once or you will be hanging from every wagon from here to continents across the world." "Puny man, you do not scare me, and if you think you can beat me, well I may be a giant tree but clearly you are the biggest sap here." "Oh, a little tree humor eh, but just a lesson pal, I'm the Hero, I make the wisecracks, people tell me I should be a comedian but I'm thinking of..............branching out." Curses, he always forgot his sunglasses. "Besides, I thought you were the Tree of Happiness, this doesn't seem to be making people happy."

 "Do you know what it's like to be me human, no, how could you, you are but a mere mortal.  Every year for centuries people have come to me bearing gifts, giving what they could.  However, each year the tributes have been less and less, no one worships me like they used to. I SHOULD BE FEARED, but instead when the season of tributes is over, do you know what they do? they stuff me in a closet, and restrain me, THEY DON'T EVEN GIVE ME WATER, and I begin to wither and die, sitting literally on pins and needles. WELL NO MORE, if these people don't want to give me tributes I will take them, along with their souls, and the souls of anyone who tries to stop me......" interrupting the Hero spoke up "Um hold on a sec, how come you didn't scream the part about the souls? I mean surely that had to be an important part of the speech right? I mean it just seems like something you would want to emphasize." "Really, can I start over?" "Well we kind of have to get a move on here, time is wasting." With that the Tree of Happiness began his assault, launching an airstrike of pine cones at the Hero, who managed to bob and weave successfully, lunging at the tree he was repelled by the sharpness of his needles, needles so sharp they could even cut through his trusty and effective chicken string.

  He had to get the giant tree away from the people, maybe that would lessen it's hold on them, he ran toward the moving stairs but the Tree of Happiness followed suit. "SILLY MORTAL, I AM A GOD, YOU CAN NOT ESCAP...........HEY HEY WHAT'S HAPPENING...........I'M STUCK......I CAN'T MOVE...HELP ME SILLY MORTAL."  Looking back he couldn't help but laugh, here stood the mighty god, stuck in the moving stairs, seeing his opportunity he ran and lunged at the colossal twig, unleashing a mighty tackle the tree began to snap in half, as he watched the tree fall to the floor, he noticed something else, all the doors began to open, running from store to store people were quick to return the favor for all his help, welcoming them to their stores and asking how they could now help him.

  As a crowd of onlookers gathered to see the fallen tree god, two women stood up above, their vengeful eyes not on the tree god, or the people, but on the Hero, they had found him now, and he would pay. 

The Chicken Hero saga Chapter 9: I think we're deboned now

 There didn't seem to be anyone around, the beating of his heart was the only sound as he saw that giant device approaching.  This is what it had all come down, all the stalling, all non linear plot stories used to flesh out the character, this is what it had all come down to.  This was for all the marbles, it was time to pay the piper, bring the chickens home to roost, pay the brass tax, draw a line in the sand, fight without prejudice, he hoped Deboner would get soon as he was running out of witty taglines. The cloud of dust approaching he had not seen since the townsfolk women had stormed the mall of Avalon during their last sale, he hoped to himself that there would be less people harmed in this battle then there were on that fateful day.

  Finally after what seemed like a too long and meandering paragraph the dust cleared and before him stood the familiar face of evil. "Expecting someone else?" asked the Deboner with his trademark evil smirk. "No, no I kind of figured it was you, I mean you are my only arch nemesis right." "You think your so smart don't you Hero, but I know you didn't see this coming, this machine behind me spells your doom, that's right D O O M E, DOOM!" "Well I hope it does a better job of spelling doom than you did, and yeah how could I not see it coming? I saw that trail of dust coming two towns over, did you really need to make it that big? are you compensating for something there boney? "ENOUGH, enough of this, you think it is your will to defend the harvest, to feed those peasant townsfolk, well enjoy trying to prepare with NO BONES!".."actually that would be quite nice on a salad, a boneless chicken breast." "STOP HAVING ALL THE ANSWERS YOU SMUG LITTLE TROGLODYTE!". The Hero had no time to look up what the hell he was just called, it was time to do a word he did understand.....attack.

  He had never ran so fast in his life, he ran faster then Petrus the third when someone called out cigarette break at the harvest, it was like something was pulling him.......wait..........something was pulling him.  Some force was pulling him toward the Deboner, but not just him, the sky was now covered in flying chickens, but what sorcery was this, in his time at the harvest the Hero had learned a great deal about chickens, the two most important being that you couldn't count them before they hatched, and they couldn't fly, so what now was making them take to the sky.  The Hero grabbed onto a nearby tree to stop himself from being pulled in the direct path of the device, and was aghast at what he saw next, chicken after chicken being crushed and vaporized, leaving only skin and dust.  It was a shocking revelation, the Deboner was not the bumbling idiot he thought he was, for once his name inspired seriousness instead of giggling, the main food source of the townsfolk was depleting before his eyes, and he had to stop it. In the midst of the dust and feathers the Hero was able to make out the Deboner, standing with a large joystick in his hand, rubbing it gently, and reveling in the ecstasy of  a plan coming into fruition.

  The Hero knew it was time to act, taking out his trusty and effective chicken string he lassoed an approaching chicken and soared through the air, with a mighty kick the joystick was removed from the Deboner's hand, dropping to the earth below the Hero was able to race to the remote and hit the off button, with that all the soaring chickens fell to the earth like a delicious hailstorm. "HERO..........YOU HAVE SCREWED ME FOR THE LAST TIME........YOU THINK YOU HAVE WON.....WELL WE WILL SEE HOW YOU WIN WHEN I GET MY ROCKS OFF....". "Wait........what" he didn't have time to finish as he saw the first rock flying at him, the Deboner had now taken a more primitive approach and was using a slingshot, what was more of a shock was that he proved to be an adept shot as a huge stone nailed the Hero right in the forehead, fallen on the ground in a daze with the now laughing manically Deboner standing over him, the Hero could not help but think of the people that needed him most, how would Bogeyus the procurer of goods procure goods if there were no goods to procure, how would Joshias afford his ear reduction surgery, how would Karenus the beggar ever make two bucks again, just as it seemed things couldn't get dimmer they did, the skies darkened, thunder rolled and the skies opened up.......literally, something was approaching, it was a bird, it was a plane, no, no wait it was definitely a bird, but it was no ordinary bird, and it was a welcome sight.

  The Hero looked up to see the Deboner struck and knocked off balance by none other then Cluckus the brave warrior chicken with the adamantium frame.  However, he was not alone, there was a smaller warrior fighting alongside him, a bird he never seen before, but he was a poultry that packed a punch.  Stumbling to his feet the Hero looked at Cluckus, "What took you so long?" "Missed the Bus" replied Cluckus.  Looking at his companion the Hero asked "And who might this be?" "I am Cletus, son of Cluckus, protector of the sacred Talon." Yet another shocking bit of information the Hero had to absorb, " You never told me you had a son." To which Cluckus replied "I didn't know till recently, he found me shortly after you left, I didn't believe it until we went to see some guy named Povich, an apothecary who has the means of finding out these things, he told me for certain that I WAS the father, but I've seen him fight, and I am proud of him, he is good, he is strong, he can fly......wait that's not right." No it wasn't right, somewhere in the midst of catching up the Deboner had gotten the remote back, and the Chick Magnet was on again, now all of the brave warriors were being pulled toward the magnet. "WHAT DO WE DO DAD?" yelled Cletus. "IT WILL BE FINE SON, JUST REPEAT YOUR MANTRA LIKE I TAUGHT YOU'. With that both chickens bowed their heads and repeated these worlds:

 Once more into the fray
 Into the last good fight I'll ever know
 Won't be fried this day
 Won't be fried this day

  The Hero seeing this wished he had taught of a mantra of his own that could help, thinking fast he repeated the first thing that came into his head:

  Open the door, get on the floor
  Everybody walk the dinosaur
  Open the door, get on the floor
  Everybody walk the dinosaur

 He didn't know why he thought of that, he had no time to think about it for they were approaching the Chick Magnet quickly when suddenly it was over, the machine started to sputter and all of a sudden it exploded. The Deboner looked on in disbelief......."I can't believe, my equipment has failed.......I swear this has never happened before......." The Hero, his face full of relief quipped "Yeah sure buddy, I'm sure you were just stressed, trying to destroy a town's food supply can be nerve racking, happens to all guys." "NOT TO ME, NONE OF MY THINGS EVER PREMATURELY EXPLODE...........WHAT ARE YOU GIGGLING AT?" The giggling was soon replaced with the sound of an adamantium talon striking the Deboner's face, the two warrior chickens pecked and scratched at the Deboner, sending him fleeing in a desperate escape attempt, running his way through countless chickens the Hero unraveled his trusty and effective chicken string, wrapping it around his feet and tripping him up. "You say I wasn't prepared for you Deboner, guess again, I have done my homework, and I know how to stop you." With that the Hero unveiled a big latex sack, and covered the Deboner head to toe.  "Now that you are covered in this protective latex shell you will no longer be able to spread your evil anywhere, and you the town shall be safe.

  Upon arriving at the jail where the Deboner would spent his days encased in latex, the Hero said goodbye to his warrior chicken friends. "Where will you go now?" "Well I hear Maria Brun is up to her old tricks again, so I guess that's where we are headed, but I am sure our path's will cross again Hero."  Tired and beaten down but overjoyed at the defeat of his arch enemy the Hero began the journey home. So overjoyed was he that he had not noticed it started to rain, nor did he notice the hole that had formed in the latex sack of the unconscious Deboner.

 The laughing............he definitely heard the laughing though.

The Chicken Hero Saga Chapter 8: Tent-acles of Evil

  It was a hot day at the harvest, it was so hot that you could fry an egg on the pavement, but the Hero wouldn't do it because last time he tried he was mobbed by homeless people trying to get a feast, it wasn't enough he left the garbage bin lids open so they could eat whatever they wanted, now they wanted his breakfast too. He was having a normal day at the harvest, pick up chicken, slice chicken, dispense chicken, throw chicken at serving wenches who could never run fast enough.  In some circles this was labelled abuse, the Hero stayed away from those circles, he stayed away from circles altogether, he liked a good corner. As he sliced and diced, and julienned(after which he could still cut a tomato) he was approached by one of his co-harvesters Karenus.  Karenus was an odd sort, she would often times remove most of her hair and pin it to a wall for no reason until she felt like having long hair again. Before being plucked up by the harvest, she was a beggar on the streets, her roots never really left her as daily she would approach all the harvesters asking for two pence, "Got two pence for the lotto?" she would ask, and then write the person's name down on paper.  The Hero often wondered if this lotto she spoke of was real or mythical, but he always played along, because he knew Karenus and he was afraid, anyone who could take her hair out at random was no one to be messed with.

   The Hero then heard those all too familiar words "Two Pence? Two Pence for the lotto?" Karenus asked "Ummm not today Karenus, I spent all my pence at the tea merchant, I shall have it for you in the morrow" "You better" exclaimed Karenus as she pushed the marker along her throat in some neck cutting gesture.  He knew Karenus, and he was afraid.  Of all the local tea merchants, Timias of Horton was the most popular, and the most widespread, he had set up shops all over the township and whichever one you entered there was always a line, it was a place where people went to congregate and linger, and let out all their passive aggressiveness. Lately he had seen etchings on their mugs promoting something known as "Camp day", he was curious to this ritual as it appeared that it entailed shipping kids off into remote woods, and forcing them to survive.  He had heard of this before in other townships where hungry people were forced to play games until there was one survivor, but could it be really happening here? Was Timias of Horton using his shops to kidnap the townsfolk's children and force them into battle? He had to get to the bottom of this, after, of course, he had gotten to the bottom of his delicious tea.

   He searched all the Timias locations he could in search of answers, but his resolve was tested, as was his bladder, all those teas were taking affect, but he could not stop drinking tea, wait maybe that was it, maybe there was something in the hot beverages that were making people numb to the fact that there kids were being taken.  He asked around but all he got was townsfolk with rapid speech and twitchy eye movements, these speed freaks were of no use to him. Just as he was about to give up a fleet footed stranger  laid a doughnut on his table, but this was no ordinary doughnut, it was filled with the finest cream of Boston, as he took a bite he discovered something odd, the cream tasted papery, wait it was paper, it was a note that read
"Eggs......bacon.......ham.......bread...." his reading was interrupted when the fleet footed stranger soared past again laying another doughnut on the table.  He hurriedly took a bite to find another note which read "Sorry, you got the wrong doughnut...........you are on the right track, where the coffee brews, trouble also brews, just follow your nose.....ooh that reminds me get fruit loops as well." Just then he saw,and smelled what the note was talking about, a person in black making fresh coffee, that must second in command to Timias, he had to act fast, snatching the girl he ran off, as the other employees gave chase a spilled a rack of doughnut balls known as Timias bits all over the floor causing all chasers to slip and fall.

  "Now your gonna tell me everything I need to know about this Camp day" "Okay" responded the girl, "Well that was easy." "Hey look, they pay me a serf's wages and it's not enough to deal with all those townsfolk, so here's the deal, every year when production of coffee beans and donuts start to slow, and workers leave Timias decides to cut costs by bringing in children, it's a trick he learned from his Asian cousin. So every year this time he gets parents to round up their kids like they are going to some fun camp, when in reality they are covered in yeast and flour all day long. They say at least ten kids a year lose a finger, and that's how they get the crunch in the walnut crunch." The Hero was almost floored by this confession, he loved those walnut crunches, and now the sight of them would repulse him like it would a Bogeyus coughing fit. The Hero knew he had to stop this, but it may be too late, for today was Camp day, he looked at the sun to see what time it was, then remembered he couldn't tell time from the sun.  He had to run fast, but he couldn't leave the girl alone, now that she revealed the secret Timias might send someone after her, he saw the ogrish Christoph approaching him, stopping him he asked if he could guard her for a while, he dumbly responded with "Sure....I will take her to my basement....it's more equipped for holding young girls" and that was his motivation to run faster.

  He arrived at the Timias of Horton shop to see townsfolk bringing in treasured possessions, that would be sold off and used to raise money to take the kids away.  The Hero tried to warn whomever he could of what Timias was doing, just then he heard a blast, and felt something hit him hard making him fall to the ground, he looked around and before him stood a tall figure, it was Timias, and he appeared to be the opposite of happy.  "You have felt the affects of my Timias bit cannon, as a regular doughnut ball they are delicious, but at 210 mph they are deadly. You wanna come in here and spill the coffee beans about me using the peasant children to make my products, I say so what.......go ahead.........these are poor children, who will even miss them, I stopped taking the rich kids when they became too demanding; however, these kids, these poor kids are just happy they don't have to sleep on the ground anymore............well okay they still sleep on the ground, but it's softer ground.  And they are easily amused, one kid said he couldn't swim but I threw him in the pond,and you know what, he stayed there for hours, we called and called but he just floated there face down, actually perhaps we should check on him, he was a good doughnut maker."

  After Timias was finished, the Hero stood silent, mostly for dramatic affect, "I will admit your plan to use kids as a cheap source of labor is a good one, but much like your doughnuts.........it has a hole in it." He had the sudden urge to put on sunglasses but there was no time as Timias fired from the cannon again, grabbing a nearby cookie sheet he deflected the Timias bits away and and unrolling his trusty chicken string he lassoed the doughnut dictator and tossed him to the ground. "There will be no Second Cup for you pal, you are about to see Stars buck, all your dreams are about to Fritter away...." "OH WILL YOU STOP THE PUNS AND GET ON WITH IT.....you had your action hero line already.  With that the Hero picked up the cannon and shot the Timias bits right into the Timias balls, one at a time until Timias agreed to never use kids to make doughnuts again.  With a round of applause and an extra large tea the Hero began to walk back to the harvest when he stopped, there was something approaching off in the distance, and it was coming fast

 "That's the biggest one of those I have ever seen.........Deboner" said the Hero and he knew it was time.

The Chicken Hero Saga Chapter 7: Petty Crimes

  It had been an especially busy week at the harvest, I mean it was always busy there but these days it seemed like customers were coming out of the woodwork, which was the neighboring village, and usually villagers kept to their village cause they had their own harvest, but months prior they had lost it due to an infestation of wild badgers, or so were the reports. The hero's boss Peterus granted him a few days off to "recharge his batteries" which both excited him and confused him for he didn't think he ran on batteries, he had always thought he was solar powered, which was why he felt so sluggish when it rained.  With several days off the Hero had to find something to do, he planned on training to fight the Deboner, but he was especially quiet lately, and there was only so many montages he could take.  He had made plans to see an acting troupe perform a play about small ravenous fish attacking townsfolk, apparently the actors through things at the audience to enhance their experience.  He had planned to see this with harvest co-worker Joshias, he was a good man, struck with a case of gigantism as a child but only in the ears, which made him an extraordinary listener but made it hard for him to walk on a windy day.

  After those plans got delayed the Hero sought a new outlet to entertain him, he had heard of a popular minstrel group coming to town, Tomias Petty and his traveling minstrels were known all over the land, their songs sang everywhere so there would no doubt be a huge crowd of townsfolk to see them.  After some confusion as to why the first show was on the second night, the Hero shrugged and paid the entrance fee.  As he had suspected there were thousands upon thousands of people there, some people must have even hopped on those winged vehicles he had heard some much about.  The amount of people astonished him, the last time he had heard of this many people in one place, one of the old serving wenches Marias had talked about Jesus feeding all those people with fish and bread.  He could listen to her stories for hours, cause they didn't include things that were in Jesus' biography, such as how many bills had to be taken care of when the fish and bread ran out, and how many free meals had to be given out, and also how Noah actually had three of every animal on board the ark, the extra weight made it hard to sail but every night they had a delicious meal.

  The Hero found his seat and waited for the performance to begin; but when it did he could not believe his eyes.  Before Tomias Petty and his minstrels took the stage, they marched out four blind African American men, all in matching suits, and made them perform in front of the townsfolk.  He had heard of this practice before, but had thought it had been abolished when it was discovered that they dominated every sporting event.  Now the Hero didn't mind cheap labor, he knew the Mexican townsfolk had been put on earth for a reason, but this was unacceptable, to march these poor people out there and prance them around was preposterous, and he knew he had to do something about it.  On the way down from his seat he noticed something, besides the fact that his foot couldn't keep from tapping, the other townsfolk were also transfixed by their performance, everywhere he looked the whitest of people were infused with rhythm, and they could not stop dancing and waving their arms, something wasn't right, something was very wrong.

   It was time for Tomias Petty to take the stage, and his dulcet tones filled the coliseum, everywhere the Hero looked people were singing along with him, and relentlessly clapping until their hands bled.  Some poor villager a few rows ahead of him could not stop dancing and gyrating, at first the Hero thought he was having a seizure, but it was much worse, it was not a seizure, it was the man's soul leaving his body.  Just then it dawned him, he had forgot to put out his fire pit at home.........oh and this music was turning people into mindless zombies, he had to stop it before it was too late.   He knew he could not take on this outbreak at once, he would need backup, he had to go to the harvest and round up his co-workers, he trusted them for the most part, and their brains would surely be delicious.............no it was getting to him, he had to leave quickly.

  Upon arriving at the harvest he saw young dishwasher Tylerus, who called himself Tyler for short, he didn't understand why everyone else didn't shorten their names, but then he didn't understand why he didn't have a name so he didn't question it.  When told of the situation Tyler responded "A zombie outbreak, that's Tyleriffec, I will join you my friend and I will unleash the THE EYE OF THE TYLER." The Hero wasn't sure why he screamed the last part, or why he included his name in other words, but Tyler was wiry and in a pinch could be picked up and used to hit zombies with, so he would be useful.  Next the Hero saw Andrewis, who when he heard the story, stared blankly for a few minutes, and then laughed as if he had missed out on some joke.  The Hero cursed that wagon that hit Andrewis as a boy, but then he had an idea, he simply told him that the zombies planned on making Andrewis a dishwasher, and rage overtook him. Next he saw one of the hosting wenches Alyssyius, who could be useful as she possessed the power of long windedness, she could make one sentence last two hours, that and her rapid speech would truly cause some confusion. It was a rough time for the harvest to be short staffed, his brother Robbieus was performing a show with his minstrel group, apparently an untimely gust of wind had left Joshias in a high tree, and Bogeyus the procurer of goods was on one of his many trips to the market. He would have asked the serving wenches to help, but if things went bad they would have to run, and serving wenches have a problem running fast.

  Taking what he could get, the Hero rounded up his band of misfits, he packed some heavy duty and even more trustworthy chicken string, and some duct tape for when Alyssyius started one of her stories.  They arrived at the store and witnessed the horrific scene, as far as the eye could see people were dancing, and clapping, and eating the other townsfolk, and in the middle of all controlling the action was Tomias Petty.  "PETTY" the Hero bellowed and the music stopped, everyone both with a mind and without turned to look at the intruders "You have controlled your last zombie, and they have eaten their last brain, now your going down" "AND IT'S GONNA BE TYLERTASTIC" leaning to his puny yet strong willed associate he said "you can't really fit Tyler in fantastic" "Hey, Tyler fits in anything, just ask the ladies.....eh....eh." The Hero made a mental note to punch Tyler after this was over.

  His note was interrupted when Petty began to speak "You think you can stop me, many have tried, many have failed, the last was an American girl, she was tougher then she appeared, but I vanquished her, that was my last dance with Mary Jane, you can come at me but you will find that I won't back down, I will stand my ground.  I open a new world for these people, a world of escape, they don't have to live like a refugee.  They all follow me now, it's good to be king, and you will not take it from me, come after me and you will be learning to fly, it will be the end of the line for you." "Enough with the song titles" quipped the Hero as he began to charge "Tweeter........Monkey man..........attack", with that two huge mind controlled monsters charged, the Hero was able to lasso them and tie them together, as he looked around he noticed that Alyssyius had a number of zombies distracted with a story that truly wasn't going anywhere, then suddenly the wind picked up and they blew away.  Some zombies began to drag Andrewis away but once he thought he was being lead to the pit of dishes he began to fight back. It was now down to the Hero and Tomias Petty. "I bet your interested in how I did this" a smug Petty said "Not really" retorted the hero. "You see those men I have play before me are a soul band in more then one way, they literally suck the souls out of the people, and they all go to me, there is only one antidote and it's this book which you will never get." Petty's monologue was interrupted by the laughing of the Hero. "What's so funny? I never made a joke!" "Well see you just told me your plan, and how to turn things around, everyone knows when that happens the good guy always wins." "Awwww crap, I knew I shouldn't have smoked that weedgrass."

  Just as the hero was about to wind up and deliver the finishing blow from behind came a loud shriek and Petty was taken down, "CROUCHING TYLER HIDDEN DRAGON" ......while that was a better use of his name it was an unfortunate time to get in the way, but the Hero noticed something, in the ongoing scuffle the book had fallen out, he snatched it quickly and looked it over "Hmmmm chicken soup for the soulless" he started reading stories of how people overcame being mindless sheep and he saw the crowd drop who they were eating and begin to pay attention, one by one they came to their senses, but surveying the carnage they all wept, some screamed "What kind of concert would make us go on a murderous rampage?" The Hero simply responded with "how about Justinus Bieberus, I am pretty sure he could also suck the life out of people." All the townsfolk laughed and agreed, and peace was restored.....

  For now.