Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Open Letters to my favorite tv shows

Television viewing is different today then when I was a kid, shows have gotten smarter, rely on cliffhanger endings a lot, and the tv schedules are all over the place. Some shows I enjoy start in September, other shows I enjoy start in January, some start in March. With the advent of being able to watch tv on the internetz, it means I have new shows pretty much all year long, and no commercials, cause unless it's the Superbowl, who wants to watch commercials. Recently some shows that I enjoy have come to end for their respective seasons, or are on hiatus, and their final shows have forced me to write the writers of each show a letter, to let them know my thoughts, annnnnnnd away we go.

Dear Sons of Anarchy,

Thank your a great season, all your wacky actions and infighting kept me hooked through every episode. The mark of a truly great show is one that can make Peg Bundy look hot even though she's gotta be like what, sixty years old. I think we can all be glad that FX is not a hd channel. You had many great moments this season, and I just wanna thank you for waiting until the last few minutes to kick me in the stomach with that ending, now I have to wait to September to see what happens, thanks, thanks alot.

Dear Dexter,

Another good season this year, and let me just say thanks, for waiting until I recovered from the end of Sons of Anarchy to kick me in the nads with that ending. I won't spoil it for fans who haven't seen it, but really, what did I do to deserve getting kicked in the grapefruits like that. Also, what happened to Micheal C. Hall, I saw him in the post season interview and he looks like the character Tom Hanks played in Philadelphia,after the Aids. Thank you also for making sure I can never enjoy Third Rock from the Sun again because now not only have I seen John Lithgow naked( even bleach didn't help take out that image) now I will picture him controlling that whole family through fear and intimidation.

Dear Glee,

Why do I even watch your show, is it the catchy musical numbers, is it that the lead girl is pretty cute, or is that lost part of me who wanted to be on broadway, but never got past playing Santa in a grade 8 play. I had the audience on their feet the whole time, of course prior to the play I put thumbtacks on their chairs so that might have been the reason. Your fall finale actually ended on somewhat of a happy note, as happy as a guy who kisses somebody who is not his wife- who admittedly faked a pregnancy but you should have known that anyway-could be.

Dear Breaking Bad,

Ok so you actually ended a few months ago, but I didn't have a blog then, so your getting this letter now. I will never think of Bryan Cranston as the dad from Malcolm in the Middle again, and that's a good thing cause I hated that show anyway. Before there was the Sons of Anarchy, or Dexter, you were right there to punch me in the stomach with your ending, and leave me waiting until March to see what comes next. So I will sit and wait, wondering how Walter will get his family back, will he be found out, and how do you clean up the wreckage of two planes colliding from your backyard. Until March Breaking Bad.

I blame 24 for all of this, if they hadn't of done a sad ending to their first season it wouldn't have been cool, or edgy to do it. Of course I'd never say this to Jack Baur, case he would no doubt kill me 5 times before I hit the ground, oh yeah his last season ended with him in a coma, but I've seen commercials for the new season, and he looks fine so all is well(yay stem cells). With House's season still going, and 24 coming in January, and then Lost in Febuary I'm sure there will be more open letters in the future, cause none of those shows like to end with me smiling. And it's the last season for Lost so you know they are gonna aim for a body part to kick me in, perhaps the shin, no one's gotten me there yet.

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