It is an exciting time for the province of British Columbia, in just a couple of months the world will converge there for the Winter Olympics, it's early in the season so the Canucks haven't choked yet, and it appears the Sasquatch lives, and calls British Columbia home. In search of news that didn't involve Tiger Woods apologizing for rear-ending something other then a tree, I stumbled across the giant beast. According to the world's most reliable source on everything ever created, wikipedia, the mammoth Sasquatch just walked out in front of a group of school kids, and despite videos of the past he was not blurry in the slightest. Their were a myriad of different reactions when the legendary figure walked out, some kids soiled theirselves, the huge contingent of pot smokers thought they were hallucinating, while some star wars nerds thought it was in fact Chewbacca and ran to get autographs, all the while telling him how bad Attack of the Clones was.
It appears that British Columbia is so excited about the arrival of Bigfoot, that they have made him the official mascot of the Olympic games. The Canadian Olympic committee looking for any edge they could find on home turf figured that most countries would be distracted, some so terrified they may withdraw from competitions leading to medal sweeps in all categories. They tested this theory by having the Bigfoot emerge from the woods during the Canadian alpine team ski training, the skiers so terrified, set world record speeds on their way down the hill. They had considered using Bigfoot to be the selection to light the Olympic Flame, but tests proved him to be quite flammable, so they went with a human instead.
The emergence of the Sasquatch has led to some jealousy in the monster world, as the mysterious Ogo Pogo actually emerged from the water, motioned to people as if to say "Hey, look at me I'm over here" however nobody turned around to see him. Officials are not certain why the legendary Bigfoot chose now to show himself to the world, according to wikipedia, he has desires of being a hockey goalie. This set off rampant specualtion that he was about to sign with the Toronto Maple leafs, who need all the help they can get. Upon hearing this, goalie Jonas Gustavson's heart rate immediately soared and he needed to have surgery.
The Sasquatch, or Quatchi, as he is lovingly referred to by the people of BC, has apparently felt the love of the people, and has decided to stop eating them and to embrace them, making BC his temporary home, at least until the end of the Olympic games. All my attempts to contact the family with whom Quatchi is staying failed, as the Hendersons were unavailable for comment, I did however find this picture of the family enjoying some quality time.
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