Has anybody seen my water

This morning started like every other morning, I woke up though I didn't want to be awake yet, and I knew that Mr. Sandman had disappeared, so I arose, it was then I found out that something else had disappeared also. It appears that at some point during the night, or wee hours of the morning, my water has disappeared. My first thought was that the pipes were frozen, and that would require telling the landlady, she's an older lady so that would require a half hour conversation. Without the ability to make tea, I tried to hold it together, but my thinking became more irrational, my god what if somebody had stolen our water. What reason would they have for doing this, does this person want to destroy the water like Mr. Burns wanted to block out the sun, why does he hate the elements.

Calming myself down I begrudgingly put on my boots and made the trek around the corner of the house to see my landlady, she knew why I was there, for her water was gone too, and our neighbours across the street, and throughout this entire section of city. Surely the water thief was busy last night, hitting home after home. After I relayed my fears to my landlady she calmly assured me there was no such thing as a water thief and that there was a break in the water system. My rational side wanted to believe her, but my frosted side wondered why she would be covering up for this thief, so I decided to confront her, she's 70, surely I could take her, as I screamed for answers, it was then I discoverd her shockingly cat like reflexes as she hurled me down the steps, sending me running for a hot water bottle. Though without the services of hot water I learned those things are fairly useless.

**Pause the above fight scene did not happen, see what happens when I am deprived of tea,**Unpause**

So here I sit, waiting, watching, hoping for a sign for the return of my precious water, but I don't know how much longer I can hold out. Cracks in my once strong armor are starting to show, I just washed my face in milk, they say it does a body good but now I'm all sticky, maybe I can use the juice from this orange I found in the fridge, oh god, the citric acid burns, Mcbain was right, the goggles do nothing. The irrational side is coming back, but it's more a fear of the unknown, for if there is a water thief amongst us, who knows whats on tap for us next. Will he try to drain us of our spirit? will he flush away all our goodwill? Water you doing to us water thief, if your reading this I just want you to know that this morning I brushed my teeth with maple syrup and it was both demoralizing and delicious, and I hope your happy.