Earlier in the week I decided to retire ye olde CRT monitor and upgrade to a sleek new flatscreen monitor. I had debated back and forth with myself on this matter, what is more important, the essentials in life like food and clothing or a new toy, and as it usually does the toy won out. I made my way to Futureshop and purchased a sleek new 23 inch Samsung monitor, that was easy enough, but then techinical difficulties followed, technically I couldn't get a picture on my screen, until my sidekick the bearded one was able to discover that after all my searching, the plug in the back of the monitor was not in all the way. After the feeling of stupidness subsided I took joy in my new monitor, and after I stopped touching it while saying the words "Precious, precious" (if your reading this Bill do the Gollum voice, you always did it better then me, and whoever else is reading imagine Bill doing the voice and you'll get the idea) I wanted to share my enjoyment of my new monitor with others. However my attempts to show people were met with vicious slaps, which made me think that asking strangers if they wanted to see something with a lot of inches and pretty was not the right way to go about things. To bask in the enjoyment of my new monitor, let's take a look at some other famous monitors that the world has seen:
The Hall Monitor-My high school didn't have hall monitors, and it was bedlam because of it. Students often arrived to class bloody and disoriented as classes spilled out and chaos ensued(these memories could actually be from the movie Dangerous Minds, not a bad film, check it out sometime) as there was no one to enforce the rules and guide them to their destination. The hall monitor has an unfair reputation as a Narc, or a teacher's pet but they are only doing the job that they are assigned to do. It's a thankless job no doubt, the target of bullies, the ever present threat of locker stuffings, but someone has to do it, and who knows if Columbine had had a hall monitor maybe that tragedy wouldn't have happened, at the very least they would have had someone to yell duck.
The Monitor.....ummm Monitor- to be honest I don't know much about this lizard but doesn't it look like something you would want as a pet. I know you might think this would be a terrible pet, the upkeep would be terrible but think about it, if it dies you have a new belt, or new boots, and what girlfriend or wife or mistress would turn down that opportunity. In my opinion it would also make a great pet for kids, imagine little Timmy or Tina getting a ride on old scaley here's back, while his or her parents film it for their precious memories collection. I see no harm, parents let their kids hang out with Micheal Jackson right, although he was more of a chameleon really.
So there you have it, a look at some of history's most famous monitors, I hope that I have educated you(and if I have you should probably go back to school) and that you have left a little bit wiser, or at least consumed enough alcohol so that this seems normal and you forget what I said about Columbine, or Micheal Jackson. I have to say I am satisfied with my purchase, between this and my semi-new 50 inch plasma television my living room has had more inches put into it then Britanny Spears, is it still cool to make fun of her, I don't know gossip. I just wanna say goodbye to the old CRT monitor and thank it for it's years of service, you will be given the appropriate Viking funeral, or thrown in the dump, but whatever happens there will be a ten minute period where I will be inconsolable. Well until I get home and see my new monitor; seriously, it's like switching from Rosie O'Donnell to Megan Fox, crap the monitor is still in the corner....awwwkkkkward.
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