When I was a kid many moons ago and was stranded indoors by a rainy day, I often enjoyed a good board game to pass the time. When I wasn't wrestling with my brothers or making fun of my sister for her somewhat stalkerish obsession with Duran Duran or New Kids on the Block(now that I think of it that may have been without her knowing, sorry Kelly but it was a little creepy) some of us would rustle up around the table and break out some of our favorite games and waste an hour or two. This was all well and good when I was a lad, but as with most things time and perspective has given me a new look on these games, lets take a look at a few shall we:
Operation- The game where you operate on some poor smhuck, removing such things as vital organs to materials that shouldn't be there. Just don't touch the sides, cause that buzzing means you lose your turn. Now that I'm older I see just how this game would really be played, because of poor health care systems this man has been probably waiting for this operation for several months, backlogged on a waitlist that is pages long. If this was the USA this man better have a HMO or you would have to include his shirt on the list of things you would have to remove from him, cause he'll be out on the street. Finally how many young kids had their dreams dashed by this game, how many young Timmies or Janies wanted to be doctors only to hear the repeated buzzing when they touched the sides. Their dreams of saving lives ruined by the knowledge that they are shakier then a Muhammed Ali right hook. Thank you operation, perhaps we'd have more doctors and shorter wait times if you didn't if you didn't put so many kids dreams on life support.
Clue- the game of whodunit, where, and with what. The game takes place in a mansion with more suspicious activity then Tiger Woods place when his wife is out of town. Clue was always a fun game, deciphering all the clues, playing a mini Sherlock Holmes, peaking inside the envelope when my family left the room for a drink(so I was a dirty cop, I GOT RESULTS). If my older years has taught me anything is that you had better hope you built a solid case against Col. Mustard, cause with today's legal system he could be out with the streets in days. Also, you can not wrap up the mystery in an hour(unless your David Caruso or Lawrence Fishburne) and with DNA testing it will take weeks maybe even months, pleny of time for the good Col. to skip the country and live like a king in Mexico.
Monopoly- the ultimate game in venture capitalism and greed. Monopoly has torn more families apart then Jerry Springer and Maury Povich combined just by the sure speed in which a simple game of property investment can go to a knock down dragout brawl. At it's heart Monopoly is supposed to teach you how to be good with money, I'm still waiting for that lesson to kick in. My dreams of owning a railroad have turned into waterworks, trying to buy the electric company was not such a bright idea. I couldn't even win at the Mcdonald's monopoly and do you know how many fries I had to eat to try and get Park Place, instead all I got was a tight feeling in my community chest.
Hungry Hungry Hippos- I never actually played this game, just saw the commercials on television. It appears the idea is to get your hippo to eat the most marbles that are on the board. The little animated hippos that they use in these commercials are so cute, litte do the kids know just how dangerous the hippopotomaus really is. The hippo is regarded as one of the worlds deadliest animals, for it's ferocity, it's sheer power, and deceptive speed. Think about it, one minute your on a safari thinking to yourself "I'd like to pit that hippo" and the next your tombstone reads Here Lies Fred, I told him not to pet that Hippo. So while ten year old me would feel proud if I had fed my hippo more then anyone else, twenty-nine year old me wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole, or a twelve foot hungarian.
With the advance of today's society, board games have fallen by the wayside. They have been replaced by the Playstations and X-boxes of the world and left to collect dust on the shelf. However I still have the memories of when I was young, the rampid accusations of cheating between me and mom while playing Sorry, which ironically always ended up in us apologizing. The sinking of battleships that today would bring the angry Americans to your doorstep. My plans of making a new battleship based on 911 was rejected, turns out it couldn't be battleship if I used planes and screamed you blew up my tower when I lost, it's a new decade, is it safe to make that joke yet?
As I grow older it Boggles my mind how one's Life can be filled with such Snakes and Ladders. The Trivial Pursuit of happiness, for one's own Candyland, to connect with others but really what is there to Connect Four? At times it is not always a Barrell of Monkies, and I'm Sorry I don't really have a Clue as to any of the answers. Our quest for peace of mind may often find us in a Mouse Trap, but I guess that is the Risk we take, and you can never Guess Who you are going to meet. I for one prefer the quiet lifestyle, even if sometimes it's fun getting into Trouble.
No comments:
Post a Comment