Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Canada loses World Juniors, TSN implodes

Alex Trebek, Pamela Anderson, maple syrup, and now the gold medal in hockey, these are just a few things that America has taken from us. I was prepared to write this post when the score was 5-3, the commentators were quiet, they like myself figured the end was near, but then it was 5-4. A couple of minutes later people all over Canada celebrated as the Canadian team scored the tying goal, except those in Quebec, I don't know what they did but I assume it involved poutine and talk of seperation. In Canada we sat at the edge of our seats, In America I assume they didn't watch it cause since they lost the glowing puck they can't seem to follow that thing. Then it happened, the Americans scored, quieting the place in a heartbeat, there would be no 6th straight medal for Canada.

It was then a funny thing happened, TSN started to unravel, Gord Miller's jaw was stuck in the dropped position, Pierre McGuire was pulling out what hair he had left, and Bob McKenzie's head had exploded, taking out 2 other panelists as well. After this the camera started to go all fuzzy, shaking out of control and it went blank. Reports that the TSN building collapsed to the ground are unfounded, I checked a few minutes ago, they are airing the Leafs game, and they are losing so everything seems to be back to normal. Obviously the USA are a great team, hell they should have beat Canada on New Year's eve so they should not feel bad about the loss, at least it wasn't Switzerland, looking at you Russia.

A lot of Canadians are probably second guessing the team, wondering what they could have done different, do you know what I blame it on? that stupid new cheer that was developed for Canadian hockey, the EH O Canada Go chant. This thing has no rhythem, there is no flow, so you see every time the fans started to chant this phrase the Canadian players would look up in confusion and say what the hell are they saying, that doesn't sound very good, and then bam, the US players take the puck and go down and score. So on behalf the rest of the country I'd like to thank the person who created that cheer for making us lose are gold medal, I hope your proud of yourself.

It was an awesome game though, and the Canadian team have nothing to be ashamed of, even if there are probably a group of patriotic Canadians looking to storm the border(don't tell them we have a nuclear bomb, ok it's filled with maple syrup but still they don't have to know that). During the medal presentation there were a few things that made me wonder, first of all is I think they found the original Mountie, because one of the guys they had there was like 2oo years old, I seriously think he was asleep the whole time. The second thing was that there were representives there of the Saskatoon naval reserve. Is it just me or does this have to be the most boring weekend known to man, I mean is there even water in Saskatoon? I imagine it's just a group of twenty-somethings sitting around playing Socom: Navy Seals on Ps2, not every soldier gets the exciting job, like shovelling out Toronto.

So as the saying goes, there is always next year, and if I heard correctly next year's tournament is in Buffalo. I wonder how many teams will leave with the equipment they came with, or even if it will be broadcast with the same passion that it will be broadcast on Canadian television. Its the old philosophical question, if a country hosts a hockey tournament and there's no one around to broadcast it, did they really have a hockey tournament?

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