Congratulations to my Sister

No witty title this time, just want to say congratulations to my sister Kelly and Anders on the birth of their second son. I haven't talked to Kelly yet so details are scarce but here's what I know so far. The child arrived just the other day, came into the world in the usual way, but there was planes to catch, and bills to pay.......I'm sorry that's actually Cats in the Cradle by Cat Stevens, oh Mr. Stevens, your not welcome in America but your always welcome in my heart. In all seriousness I'm sure the baby did arrive in the normal process, which of course entailed Kelly and Anders filling out the requisite paperwork and waiting for the stork to arrive. Hey that's what Mom always told me it was like so that's what I'm going to believe, but for fun let's check wikipedia shall we. Well I didn't find anything on wikipedia but I found this one website, hmmm insert rod A into slot B, lift leg over here, and ahhhhhhhhhhh my eyes, the goggles do nothing. I can't believe I had to subscribe to that, oh well it's Jeff's credit card anyway, and if Jeff is reading this I totally don't know your credit card number.

For those of you who don't know, let's give a little background on my sister shall we. Many moons ago, Kelly was surfing the internetz and bumped into an innocent Swede named Anders, and this poor man had no idea what just hit him. Hey I love my sister dearly, she gave me a place to stay when I moved in here, but Anders is like a gentle deer in the headlights, and well Kelly is like the car that doesn't slow down when she sees the gentle deer on the road. For the record sis that was not a weight joke, strictly a personality thing, love ya. After a couple of years of courtship, and visits back and fourth, Kelly uprooted herself and moved to Sweden, since then she has become fluent in Swedish, I am always impressed when I hear her yelling easily transition from English to Swedish. She also tooking cooking lessons from the acclaimed Swedish Chef and can now chase chickens with cleavers with the best of them.

Kelly has been trying to get me to visit for a long time, although if and when she reads this that may change. I know one day I'll make my way over there, but I worry what will happen when that day arrives. For you see for someone who has never smoked marijuana in my life I am a very paranoid person, and most of my trip would be spent wondering if the Swedish people were talking about me. The last thing I want to do is cause an international incident, and with my luck I could be the only person in the world who could make Sweden stop being a neutral country. Although if Kelly has not done this yet, there may be hope for me, strange things have happened since she moved over there, even the moose are committing murder, read my archives if you don't know what I'm talking about. So Kelly believe me I am working up the strength to come over and see you, I'm building my arm strength cause it's a long way to fly and I don't want my arms to get tired. So until the day comes when I see you my Swedish experience will consist of meatballs and those awesome Swedish berries candies.

Once again I say congratulations to Kelly and Anders. To Kelly I say thanks for giving me a new nephew, which I would spoil if I only knew your address, hey it's like a page long and too hard to memorize. I am glad that both of you are healthy and doing well, although at a whopping 9 lbs you may be walking like you have rickets for a time. To this day your still my favorite sister, the fact I only have one is mere semantics, I know little Oscar has a good home anyway. To Anders, congratulations on slipping one past the goalie, get used to it cause it's the only time this year someone from Sweden is going to score on a Canadian. As a matter of fact if Sweden beats Canada in Olympic hockey this year, I will send you five dollars, that's got to be like a thousand dollars over there isn't it, ok I promise next time we see each other you can slap me as hard as you want for that joke. Finally, to Eric, take care of your little brother, I know you wanted a sister but until she learns how to use an easybake oven your not gonna get much out of her(if Carole is reading this Cordie is an obvious exception, and if Cordie is reading this holy crap you can read already) and hey I'm proof just how good somebody can turn out when you have brothers to watch out for you, maybe I'm not the best example but Mom always thought I was cool.