When you work in a busy restaurant, you tend to see a lot of people come and go. Some people you may see a lot more then others, these are the people you call your regulars, just like the postal service they are there whether it be rain or snow or sleet or hail. At my restaurant we have a lot of regulars, but they are only regular in the sense that they visit our restaurant every day, sometimes two or three times a day, in every other way believe me there is nothing regular about them. Over the years some of these irregular customers have been given names, names that seperate them from the rest of the customer base, let's take a look at some of these people shall we:
*Ed- no catchy nickname here, Ed is his name and that's what everybody knows him as, I don't even think he has a last name, I personally think he should be called Mr. Ed because based on some of the meals my brother has made him, the man can eat like a horse. Ed is the only customer we have who regularly sits at the bar, so much so that My brother had a sign done up for him and placed at the bar which read Ed's Place. He's pretty fond of the sign, maybe a little too fond as now nobody is allowed to sit at the bar, he even hired bouncers. I got kicked out of work on my shift cause I sat at the bar and I wasn't on the list. Ed can be a handful for the girls, he likes his food a certain way, and enjoys asking for things that are not on the menu. Some of the girls complain a lot about this, so I guess he's not much of a tipper, cause if he tipped well I'm pretty sure they would feed him bushels of grapes and fan him, and man that would need a big fan.
*Big Nose- I bet you cannot guess why the man has this name. Big Nose holds the distinction of the only customer my kitchen manager Bogey has ever barred from the restaurant. Bogey(short for beauregard, and he's a terrible golfter) is a laid back gent, but don't make him mad, cause when he gets mad *dr. evil voice* people die*dr. evil voice off* Months later we saw the return of Big Nose, and we usually see him two maybe three times a day. I usually know he's in the restaurant by the exclamations of "I'm not serving him" coming from the girls. In some cases I'd think they were overreacting, but they do jump through a lot of hoops for this guy, who's meal usually only consists of rolls and tea. There is a silver lining however, despite all the harshness our restuarant has been ant free since he's been coming around. The other day he stopped and talked to my brother and I despite our efforts to not make eye contact. His inane ramblings about the weather were filled with boasts about how our tempatures are better then Texas or China. He went on to predict good weather for us for the rest of the week, he says he saw it on the news but I'm sure if there was rain coming he could smell it a week in advance, the nose always knows. I still don't even know how I made eye contact with him, I'm cross eyed so I was looking at the bar and the back of the dining room, that nose doesn't just detect weather but fear as well.
*The Lovebirds- the lovebirds are a couple that have been dining with us a long time, since around the time we opened for sure, so maybe 6 or 7 years. They are labeled the lovebirds cause they often sit on the same side of the booth, yes foks they are so sweet they could bring a tear to glass eye. The male member of the couple seems to try too hard with some of the girls, one of the girls told me there was an extended period of time when he always asked for fish or something like that, which ended when they chased him out of the store with a bat. Okay so that didn't happen, but it would have been so cool. Much like birds this couple disappears for periods of time, I guess they migrate to other restaurants, but then there are times when they are harder to get rid of then a siamese twin. Personally I've always been a bit weary of the male of the couple, he looks like the type that comes off as charming but would wear your skin as a bicycle helmet.
*Hitler- I haven't had much experience with this guy, except for his penchant of liking the wings off white meat. I believe he was given the name Hitler cause he was pretty overbearing, and one of the girls read a history book and said you know you else was overbearing, that Hitler guy, and the name stuck. He has been mean to many of the waitresses, they weren't even Jewish, and often freaks out if he doesn't get his wings, I never know why, the show itself wasn't bad but it has Tim Daly, how excited can you be about it.
There is never a dull moment at my restaurant, usually just when I think I see it all I haven't. Just when I think I have all the answers, our customers, much like all my math teachers throughout school, changed the questions, come on what else explains why I was such a bad math student. I often wonder what our restaurant would be like without our irregulars, the life of the wait staff would probably be a bit easier, so that would be sad, as them having to work harder is funny cause it doesn't happen to me. These irregular customers are the reason I'm glad to be working in the kitchen, as this way our head office saves a lot in window bills, and I get arrested far less, which in life is always a plus.
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