Well I got a ton of response for my last post, with a grand total of 1 comment. However, I also got an email from my favorite writer, one mr. Dean Koontz, his email read "Mr Martin, I will not tell you again, stop emailing and calling me, how did you even get my phone number, if you do not cease AND desist I will unleash the demons upon you, what you thought they were something I made up to sell books, oh no, they are real, and I control them." Wow, what a character he is. Anywho, chapter 2 of the the things in my childhood that have been ruined with age focuses on some of the kids shows that were part of my regular viewing. While these shows provided me with hours of free entertainment, time and perspective has shown me that not everything was right in their respective worlds, let's investigate shall we.
*Polka Dot Door- This was a show where 2 or more adults hung out in a house that was filled with puppets, I know what your thinking, that's pretty normal. However, this house, while looking ordinary, was no doubt a house of rampant drug use. Think about it, only the people in the house could hear the puppets talk, and for random periods of time one of the adults would just randomly disappear, no doubt wondering off in some drug induced hallucination. Speaking of hallucinations, the one adult who was left would often see some giant creature, who couldn't talk but would just make weird noises, this hallucination was called Polkaroo. The other adult would wonder why they never saw him, this was of course cause he didn't exist, or they were raiding the cupboard in some munchie induced hunger fit.
*Mr. Dressup- ah Mr. Dressup, such a kind old man, the ability to mesmerize a young child with song and his artistic skills. This mesmerization is why nobody bothered to wonder why he kept a young child and his dog locked up in a treehouse. Was Casey actually his son, he never called Mr. Dressup dad, was he some random kid Mr. Dressup randomly snatched away. Dressup was a master of deception, often hiding many costumes in his infamous tickle trunk, rumor has it that Casey spent many an hour in there after misbehaving. Years later must have tried to inform someone of his plight, as he and his beloved dog Finnigan just happened to disappear, and were replaced by some annyoing crow, who I'm sure knew that he could be dinner at any moment if he did wrong.
*Fred Penner's Place- Fred Penner, much like Mr. Dressup, was also gifted in song, and his ability to make crafts. However, while Mr. Dressup enjoyed a nice comfy home(all the better to trick people with) Fred Penner spent most of his time in seclusion, in the woods. Is it just me or is kind of strange that a middle age bearded man would wanna spend so much time in a secluded wood shelter. How much do we really know about Fred Penner really, what did he do when the cameras were off, did he make survivalist videos, was he apart of some kind of militia, maybe the unibomber they arrested wasn't the actual unibomber, just something to think about.
*Romper Room- all I'm gonna say is this, if I was peeking through glass, and saying I see Wally, or I see Britney, I'd be arrested, simple as that.
*Thomas the Tank Engine- Billy, please take Duncan out of the room for this one, these poor trains, made to travel long journies, carrying heavy lords by their pot-bellied leader, Mr. TopemHat, who bears a striking resemblance to Alfred Hitchcock. Sure these trains complained a lot, but really life was not all that glamourous on the island, many of trains may have had cancer, from the amount of coal they ingested, and were yet made to push on and on. Thankfully, despite the cancer and work demands, none of the trains were usually hurt.
Well that's all that I can think of for now, there's nothing I can say about Sesame Street that Dave Chappelle hasn't said already, or shows like Family Guy or the Simpsons haven't ruined already, so I'm just gonna say goodnight, and I hope I've made you all think.
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