Wednesday was a bittersweet day in the apartment, as we said goodbye to the trusty(well trusty if the weather was nice) satellite and switched to digital cable. Not only did I say goodbye to the satellite but I said goodbye to the outside world and personal hygiene as well, as with cable comes the WWE on demand channel, so I have prepared my rag on a stick, I have my huge chocolate muffins, and the next time those close to me see me it will be on the news as they cut the side of my apartment to get my morbidly obese frame to the hospital. I awoke early Wednesday morning to prepare for the arrival of the cable guy, he should feel special because I actually cleaned the apartment, and I still have no idea how that racoon got in the kitchen, or how long he'd been there for that matter.
At 9:45 I got the call I looked forward too, he was approaching, the conveyer of cable, the deity of digital. Not long after he arrived and began his setup process, I noticed that the air had changed, our cable guy had a certain musk to him, I can only describe it as a combination of cigarettes and shame. Jeff's cable was ready first, as he has the standard box for his television in his room, I had to wait a little longer because I got the high definition box, and wow is HD ever pretty. That is, until you see Bob McKenzie's freakishly large head on TSN, truly a scary sight, but not near as scary as what I came upon next. While surfing through my selection of HD channels I landed on CNN, and my memory gets foggy here as Nancy Grace was on and reports were they could hear my screams from down the road, I mean standard definition Nancy Grace looks like something from a George A. Romero movie, HD Nancy Grace actually turned me to stone for several minutes.
One thing I've noticed is that while there are a lot of channels, it is a lot of the same channels over again, I have three A&E's, that is a lot of David Caruso folks, I guess I........ *removes shades* better change my channel*puts on shades* yeaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh. As I had envisioned, I didn't get to do much channel surfing on the first day as I saw a Von Erich on WWE on demand and I had to watch, and I was hooked after that, I later watched WCW, I haven't watched that many old people fight since my last family reunion. When I did channel surf I noticed a lot of channels I had missed that I didn't have on satellite, some good syndication programs, and as mentioned above A&E. Has there anybody that has ever hosted a show on that channel that wasn't Bill Curtis, now he's awesome and all, but dude is old and he's gotta be getting tired, and what happens when he dies, perhaps robot Bill Curtis maybe. I do love A&E though, even if with all the reality shows it's had more B and C list celebrities on it then Paris Hilton.
Like everything else I'm sure digital cable will have it's advantages and disadvantages. At least I can count on it not to abandon me in a storm. Even though I'm probably gonna get carpel tunnel syndrome using the remote, it seriously takes like half an hour to go through all the channels, just to find out I wanted to watch Family Guy that was on like channel seven or something. Time will tell how me and my cable will co-exist, I'm fairly easy to please, as long as it doesn't mess with my pay-per-views and gives me some quality entertainment it won't have a problem. I really don't think I will be getting rid of it anytime soon though, as really the only alternative I have is having Jeff act out my favorite tv shows, and while his interpretive dance is a surprise hit at parties, his acting is Coronation Street level at best.
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