The Chicken Hero Saga Chapter 3: Dream Warriors

  As he wondered along the beaten path en route to the harvest the Hero began to wonder.  His mind often wondered, this thoughts rapid, rarely having to do with anything of importance, one minute he could be trying to figure what his next meal would be, the next he was remembering for some reason the time his father taught of him the birds and the bees.  Most family patriarchs would sit their son down and nervously describe the events that take place, some dads use awkward diagrams; however, the Hero's father had some how managed to capture a bird and bee and began to use them upon each other to physically demonstrate to the now near traumatized boy.  The wails of that bird when the stinging began had never left his mind, nor he feared they never would.  Today his thoughts were of more importance, he didn't mind the chicken harvest, he knew he was providing a valuable service, but he couldn't help but think there was something more he could be doing in life.  He was talented, both at the harvest, and in other ways, he could draw, he liked to draw, he liked to draw people.  Back at his hut he had a book of sketches, sketches of hundreds of faces, many who worked with at the harvest. The Hero wondered if he could make money off of this, his Facebook as he called it.  He just needed to get the idea out there, maybe if he took the pictures and put it on walls all over he could get people to like them and they would be hooked instantly.

  His thoughts were interrupted by the sight of the harvest in the distance, and the sight of something more ominous much closer to him, crouching in the middle of the path was the Deboner.  The Hero wondered when their paths would cross again, and as he was beginning to speak it had hit him, some mysterious substance thrown by the Deboner had hit him, and he was covered in it.  As he examined it, a strange look  came over him, one of confusion.

"Did you just throw powdered gravy at me? Did you really steal powdered gravy from the harvest and throw it at me?"

The Deboner, now standing fully erect, laughed manically, and responded.

"Others call you the Hero, let's see how much of a hero you are now that you covered in the Deboner's special gravy!

"Please, please don't say it like that. it sounds really weird and really gross and...you know...while I'm at it, what in the hell kind of name is the Deboner anyway, do you know how ridiculous it is?"

"Well I use magic powers to debone chickens, that's kind of my deal"

"Well your name is stupid, it doesn't inspire fear, it inspires giggles, I mean where do you live Mount Cialis or something?"

 "I have a summer home there yes.....but"

"Oh come on, you don't even realize what the name also means"

"No, and besides, the ladies love it"

"Oh come on, yeah right"

"Your mom did"

"You are a son of a......."

 Just then something weird happened, the Hero's legs started to buckle, and everything began to go dark, all around him he heard laughing, he swore if he wet himself he would think he was back doing that recital in elementary school.

 When he awoke on the side of that road, his head throbbed, he was both dis-oriented, and disgusted at whatever substance covered him, just then he saw the chicken harvest, and he knew things would be okay, weird, but okay; however, as he started walking he noticed that as much as he walked, the harvest was not getting any closer, in fact it was moving in the opposite direction. He began to walk faster, it moved faster, he began to run fast, it went harder in the opposite direction, it reminded him of every girl he tried to date in high school.  He knew something was afoot, never had the harvest been able to move before, and now that he thought about it, the sky was never purple before, and the trees never had teeth before.

 He had to get a grip, he knew this couldn't be reality, the sky was blue, trees couldn't eat things, but hmmm if they could eat, what would they eat? He made a mental to note to ask them before he got out of this crazy place he was in. His mind was fuzzy, but he knew he had to make sure all his bases were covered....WAIT....covered, he was covered in something, the gravy, he had to get rid if it somehow, maybe if he could get it off of him reality could be restored. Think Hero think, he needed something to absorb the gravy, to soak it up with........BREAD.......he had to find bread.  There was bread at the harvest, but how would he get there, every step he took, it took two in the other direction, he looked around, needing something, anything, he gazed upon his trusty spool of chicken string, it was a long shot but he had to try, he unspooled the most string he ever had before, so much that Bogias the provider of the kitchen goods would get on his case, saying it was a special order and would take weeks to get more.

 With a mighty toss he hurled the string and with luck the first shot he lassoed one of the tables, it was sturdy now the string just had to hold, without warning he began to be pulled towards the harvest, and as he raced, so did his mind, he would get the Deboner for this, and that mom comment, he would rue the day he crossed the Hero.  After some minor cuts and bruises, and getting some rocks in uncomfortable places, he reached the end of his rope and had arrived at the harvest.  As he scrambled to find bread, everything began moving in slow motion, he felt like he did when he second hand smoked some of the weedgrass at Petrius the third's house, without the hunger. He.....very.......sloooooowlllllyyyyyyyy......reeeeeachhhhhed....foooooooor.....the......breaddddddd...and it..........veryyyyyyyyy slooooowwwwwlllyyyyyy fellllllllll onnnnnnn hiiiiiiiim. Without hesitation but still very very slowly he wiped up all the gravy, remembering the mental note he made before, he found a tree with teeth and asked him what he would eat, the tree responded "Vegetables........but then I'm a cannibal." Just then he witnessed the savagery of the tree eating a baby shrub and he begin to wipe as hard and fast as he possibly could, until he collapsed to the ground.

 He awoke with many faces staring at him, his brother Robbieus, his cousin/manager of the harvest Petrius, next to him in a heap was Bogias the provider of goods, when asked if the same fate had befallen him, the Hero was told "No, he just saw how much chicken string you wasted." When one by one they asked what happened to him, he responded one by one with "Stick a sock in it"...except of course to his brother Robbieus who could throw him a clear two towns over, he choose not to explain, instead he ran, ran so far away, the Deboner couldn't get away, not this time.  He ran down the path at full speed, when his world turned upside down, literally, for he had ran into a trap, and found himself entangled in netting hanging upside down from a tree.  Expecting to see the Deboner, nothing could prepare him for what he saw when he looked down, for standing there was straight out of something from the world he just left, it was, it was.............TO BE CONTINUED