The Chicken Hero Saga Chapter Six: The rise of Deboner

There is a story of love here
If you read between the lines
We aren't meant to understand
The situation as defined
 

  It was a rare slow day at the harvest, so the Hero did what most heroes do in those occasions, he sat around and and talked about himself.  After many a tale about his adventures, young Petrus the third asked of the Deboner, and after the usual round of giggling there was silence.  Petrus asked how he could defeat the Deboner, or if he even knew where he was.  The Hero looked grim, yet thoughtful, he didn't have an answer just yet, but with the new found power of montage given to him by foul foe turned foul friend Cluckus he would have the Intel he sought out.  His co-workers were shocked and confused, yet filled with rhythmic exuberance as the strains of Never Gonna Give you up played, and they watched him quickly look over maps and assorted data sheets. Returning to his seat he looked at young Petrus and said "I have discovered that he has a fortress at Mount Cialis, but it is not at the very top, it is in some deep deep cavern and can only be found by hitting some kind of button, the map says I am looking for a spot marked with a G.  "But can you find it?" asked the inquisitive cook, "According to legend few men have, but I plan to try my darnedest." "But what will you do if you can't find your way in?" "Well I may not be able to reach the bottom, but I will certainly beat the sides out of it to reach him."


..........Meanwhile at Mount Cialis...................

 "LOOK AT THOSE FOOLS, THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S COMING" he screamed to......absolutely nobody, he was so focused on watching through his big periscope, which extended for miles, so he could see the vast plains, he called it his one eyed monster, and never quite understood why the men laughed and the women were repulsed when he labeled it that. He had never even heard them leave, he had been clutching the one eyed monster so long that he lost track of time, they were lazy, those minions, and they never understood him, no one understood him, his mind began to wonder, he hated when it wondered.


.......Paris France, sometime between the French surrendered for the first and second time....................

 Peter Debonyay was a happy child, despite not knowing his father, only hearing stories about how he was a Mexican colonel in the revolution, who had left to open his own chain of chicken restaurants.  The man never sent money but often sent boxes of chickens, and while he thought there were too many herbs and spices, he liked the chicken nonetheless. He was a simple child, content to sit and play with his balls, and balls of others, yes many soccer games were had in his village. He could see his mother was weary from supporting him on her own, and was frustrated from the lack of support from his father, but as a proud French person she had taught him that there was no shame in surrendering, and "Why fight? when they will just run us over anyway."  This was the attitude he had had until that fateful night as a teen, while sat at the table eating more of his father's chicken, how he hated that chicken now, his mother began to choke on a bone, until then he had only seen choking from his national soccer team, he had not seen it in person, and he did not know what to do, he watched as his mother gagged on that fateful bone and lay motionless.

  The anger grew after her death, the ball of rage became bigger and bigger with nothing to focus it on.  Life had given him the shaft, and he would give the shaft back, and he would make it hurt.  As he cleared out his house, and prepared to leave there, possibly to never return, he saw it, the box of discarded chicken bones, the thing that had killed his mother, and then he knew, it was the chicken, all the chickens had to die.  He would lay all his might upon the white, on a lark he would destroy the dark, he knew he was angry because he only rhymed when he was angry, he would crush the bones of every foul, it could get messy, he packed a towel.  He set out on his mission, no more a Debonyay, now a Deboner.



..........Back to the Future(excellent movie, check it out)

There is a story of hate here
One of deceit and lies
Now we strike out at the world
To sully it in our eyes
 

 His daydreaming was interrupted by his large henchmen Mr. Black, he spared no expense to find the best henchmen, and he knew it was true what they said, once you got Black, you don't come back. "Sir, the weapon is just about ready to go." Ah yes the weapon, it was his baby, the thing that would help him to achieve his goal, standing ten feet tall, longer then it was wide, he approached it and stood in awe, all the girl minions wouldn't stop touching it until he chased them away.  With the press of a button it sent a pulse that honed into the brains of chickens, causing them to actually fly, fly in the direction of of the device, he called it the chick magnet, for nothing could resist it's power.  He tapped his massive rod staff on the ground to get the attention of his minions. "Ladies and gentleman.....war is coming........the Hero thinks he can stop me but he will be defeated, his bones crushed like the bones of the rotting foul he tries to protect.  For too long I have been screwed, but no more, I will not be the screwer  not the screwee and I will be on top. When the time is right I will enter the harvest, and I will thrust evil all upon it, and they will scream, but I will not stop until every last one of them is crushed.  The Hero likes to sit there and make his jokes at me and the expense of others, well when he sees what is about to be delivered to him, he will laugh no more HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......yeah that, no more of that.

.............Meanwhile back at the Harvest............

 "And that's how I discovered how good chocolate and peanut butter tastes together" said the Hero still telling his epic tales, he knew his co-workers were not asleep, they were just deep in focus and admiration.  His stories were stopped with the appearance of a cloaked messenger, his face hidden, he rode in on horseback and threw a package at the hero.  The hero opened it and dropped it just as quickly, contained inside was a powder, inherently he knew what the powder was, it was ground up chicken bones, picking up the paper there was nothing else but these words, and with them he knew war was coming:

                                                       I feel this situation
                                                      On the winds of change
                                                Remember me when your dreaming
                                                     Ive gone boneless

Part 5: The Saga of the Hero and the Cluckus and Hero (By Guest Author Bill HTWAVCBH Martin)

         

This is but a chapter in the story of Cluckus

Who sought to fight evil when it created ruckus;

Long were the days in the land with no sky;

This is the land between Live and Die.

Also the land some called purgatory

This is the place wherein lies our story.

A Hero, called No Name, as Ulysses of Old

Did lecture the chicken, who answered him bold:

“The Hero and Cluckus will be the title,”

Screamed out the Hero, to him this was vital.

“Not while I live with my adamantium bones;

Cluckus , the first name to be on our tomes!”

Cluckus’ talons gleamed razor sharp

Upon this point he was prepared to harp.

For days numbered two this debate raged on

While in the sky Thunder went on and on;

Lightening, too, flashed ‘cross the sky

And struck the Hero, who seemed hard done by.

The Harps of Fate were then heard strumming;

Cluckus said: “Wow, didn’t see that one coming.”

He extended a wing to the laid low Hero

Who’d gone from upright to sea level  minus zero.

The Hero crackled and sizzled with power;

And Cluckus knew then twas almost the hour

For songs had been sung of this Hero to date

All of which agreed that he would be great.

The Hero’s eyes suddenly fluttered open;

To be back at the Harvest was what he was hopin’

“I feel kinda different,” he said to the chicken

“My stomach’s all off, I think I may sicken.”

But sick he wasn’t, he couldn’t be wronger!

Lightening did not kill him, just made him stronger.

“What’s happened to me,” the Hero inquired

He felt kinda different, inwardly fired.

“Power has been given to you on this day;

Do no misuse it,” was what Cluckus did say.

“I will teach you its course, and then you will see

That with Great power comes responsibility.”

“I’ve heard that before,” the Hero did say.

From Spiderman I think, on some fateful day”

“The spider is wise,” responded the fowl

And so let us go, and get on the prowl.”

But before the two could begin training

A figure arose under a moon that was waning;

He wore a poncho, a mustache and sombrero

And he was a colonel; Colonel Sandero!

Cluckus’ nemesis of old, who did not adore him,

Now rose from the grave, rose up before him!

“You’re protege’s weak,” Sandero did say.

The Hero could only respond with: “Hey!”

Sandero’s grimace slid right off of Cluckus

But in the Hero’s heart it made such a ruckus.

“Three days from now, I will crush his spine

And all of this hateful land will be mine!

Look for me then by Sandero’s rock,

I’ll defeat your protégé, you useless old cock;

When he finally lay’s expired at my feet

Once and for all, know you’ll be beat!”

With a puff of smoke, Sandero disappeared

Leaving the Hero somewhat afeared;

Cluckus only sighed, saying “Will this never end?

True evil never really dies my friend.

Let us make our way to Sandero’s rock

Where you’ll beat him down, just like Brock

Lesnar, beat down all those guys

What? We get UFC here, don’t be surprised!”

The Hero stood stock still, and glared at the fowl

He felt so frustrated, he wanted to howl;

“Listen to me, you foul stupid bird

Me fighting Sandero is oh so absurd!

He’s clearly a master of the arcane arts

With what should I fight him, my uncanny farts?

How can I learn enough in three days

To take down Sandero and leave him a’dazed?”

Cluckus merely sighed, espying the doubt

Which had o’ertaken the Hero, causing his shout:

“The gods have provided, just come with me

All will be revealed and then you will see.”

They walked for some time through land which was strange

Until finally Cluckus felt they’d covered the range;

“Here is where I will teach you of your power;

It will not take long, for this is your Hour.

The bolt from the sky was divine intervention

You’ve been given the powers of learning and retention;

So much the better is your divine frontage

For you have been given the Power of Montage!”

The Hero just stood slack jawed and unheeding

Surely his ears had been so misleading?

Had the Chicken said Montage, just like in a movie?

Because if he had, that sure would be groovy.

“Now listen up chicken, don’t get me wrong

Do you mean that I can learn things by song?

Because doing so would ease my frustration

And I would look to music for so much inspiration!”

“You have guessed true,” the chicken replied

Feeling at last some fledgling of pride;

Sure his protégé was mostly quite dense

But at least he was slightly smarter than a fence.

“You have been chosen to right the misdeeds

Of the DeBoner (teehee) and his greeds;

So let us get learning, I’ve brought my guitar

I’ve got this good Chord App, so we won’t have to go far;

Let’s start with Survivor, a good place to start

Eye of the Tiger shall lend you strength of heart;

From there Duran Duran, to bridge the Gulf

Between Desire and action Hungry like the Wolf

So Hero and Mentor, Chicken and Man

Did train all not long, to fulfill the plan

Of some whackdoodle god with naught better to do

Than to go messing within Nature’s zoo.

By morning the Hero was weary in spirit;

Cluckus played more, but he didn’t want to hear it;

“Enough! I am done, I’ve had no sleep.

You know I don’t care about this Sandero creep!

I just need to get home, back to my land

And slap the Deboner with the back of my hand;

I’m tired of music so what do you say!”

Cluckus just looked, and softly began to play.

We’ve known each other for so long;

Your heart’s been aching but you’re too shy to say it

“Oh no” said the Hero,” I know this tune.”

But Cluckus kept playing under the waning moon.

Inside we both know what’s going on;

We know the game and we’re gonna play it.

A spark started growing in the Hero’s heart

He’d just been Rick rolled, but would play his part

And if you ask me how I’m feeling

Don’t tell me you’re too blind to see it.

 The Hero’s heart grew three sizes that day

And he knew the Deboner, would never break sway

And together they sang as the sun came up;

The Hero lost all thought of his frown:

Never gonna give you up,

Never gonna let you down;

Never gonna run around and desert you

Never gonna make you cry

Never gonna say good bye

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

The Hero’s heart grew even more sizes that day

As his Heroic nature finally gained sway;

He’d never give up, not ever again

And he’d bring to the DeBoner, all sorts of pain.

Well friends from there, our story is done

The battle with Sandero? Easily won.

I won’t go through it all, twould take too long

But it was a victory for the power of song.

The Highlights

Sandero thought to throw dirt in the eyes

But thanks to Montage, he’d got a surprise

For in one good song the Hero had learned

To defend himself when his poor eyes burned.

He caught Sandero’s truly aimed fist

And tore him a wing, if you get my gist;

From there all was done, without a doubt

For the arms have some veins, and Sandero bled out.

Cluckus stood o’er Sandero, saying “Ah Bug it!’

Drew off and kicked him right in the nuggets.

And that was the end of Colonel Sandero

The Vice Dean of Evil who sported bolero.

As Sandero lay bleeding all over the ground

A portal there opened, perfectly round;

The Hero then knew he’d passed this trial

And must head back to defeat the most vile

Villain plaguing Harvests all over the land

He stood tall and proud, and proffered his hand;

Cluckus stood and smiled there with pride

He saw the new strength the Hero had inside.

“Go then to your land,” the chicken did say

“And defeat this new evil, which seeks to hold sway.

Remember your time here, and remember the songs

Which will teach you mad skillz, to defeat the wrongs

Done there by others who’d seek to rule poorly;

Teach them their lessons, teach them such sorely.

Go back to your home and make ye good ruckus

And go tell the tale of the Hero and Cluckus!”

At the face of the portal the Hero stood proudly

And over its noise he did proclaim loudly.

“Thank you for your training, Cluckus the Great

May you be one chicken I ne’er see on a plate!”

With that last benediction the Hero jumped through

And Cluckus stood wondering how he would do;

“Ah well,” he said. “Odds are better than zero

And screw that, this was called

CLUCKUS AND THE HERO!

This was but one chapter of the life of Cluckus

Who sought to slay evil, when it created great ruckus.

                                      

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ&ob=av2

The Chicken Hero Saga Chapter 4: What's causing all this Cluckus?

  How did things get to be like this? His world turned literally upside down, The Hero hung precariously from the tree branch, unable to reach his trusty chicken knife he could not cut himself free; however, as he looked down he saw that he had bigger problems. There's no way what he was seeing was real, he must still be under the effects of the Deboner's dream powder, was it? No it couldn't be, did his eyes deceive him? Or was that in fact a giant chicken standing underneath him. The giant chicken looked up and proceeded to cut him down, letting him fall to the earth with a hearty thud, as he began to thank this strange chicken a sharp talon came thrusting towards him, he was able to dodge the attack using the sage advice imparted to him from Jeffrius, the potato stick preparer.  When once traveling a yonder country side he encountered a massive bear, knowing he was no match for the giant animal he began to use the boxing technique of sticking and moving, after a while rendering the bear to tired to fight back, that bearskin adorns the floor of his hut to this very day.

  However, this was no bear, nor ordinary piece of poultry, chickens were fast, he was faster, they were hard to catch, he was harder to catch, he had the agility and ferocity of ten angry turkeys, and he was relentless in his attack. WHO ARE YOU? screamed the Hero, WHY DO YOU ATTACK ME WHEN I HAVE DONE NOTHING TO YOU? Just then the giant foul let out a giant squawk, and pushed our hero hard to the ground. "You honestly believe that you have done nothing to my kind, you the feared slayer of chickens, the man whose name is spoken in hushed breaths among my race, do you sit there and deny these claims? "Whoa whoa whoa....whoa......whoa.....whoa, I have nothing against your race, I happen to find your kind very friendly, and delicious, you have the wrong man."

 "You are just like the rest of them" retorted the vengeful bird, "always saying I have the wrong person." I have battled for decades the likes of you, you mortal beings, there was the Evil Maria Brun, who I watched take my friends and throw them in the hottest oils imaginable until their skins were crispy.  There was the wicked Colonel Sanderos, a magical man whose secret potion made my friends golden and juicy and irresistible to insatiable townspeople.  Now there is you, the alleged Hero, you take my race, chickens that I have fought proudly with, and you.....you quarter them, letting those folk eat pieces of them at a time, then you pick the bones and boil the leftovers, and people call me a monster."

  "That was a right pretty speech, but now I'm gonna hit you in that foul mouth of yours." With that the Hero lunged at the massive poultry, unsheathing his trusty chicken knife he thrust it into the heart of the great bird..........or he would have, if the knife had gotten through.  The Hero had never seen anything like this, underneath the feathers and tender juicy white meat lay not cartilage or bone, but steel.  He was awe struck, then he was struck by a massive chicken foot which sent him sailing back to the entrance of the chicken harvest.  Crawling on his hands and knees he was stopped by his manager Petrus, father of Petrus the third, "You don't look so well man, are you okay?" "Am fine.........must.....go.....back.....and.......fight......big.....giant.....chicken." Petrus looked at The Hero with a confused stare "You have been working to hard, why don't you take a few days off, and if you could urinate in this here cup. that would be great." As he rose to his feet, he staggered out toward the road he had just been tossed from, encountering Bogias the provider of goods he asked him if he had seen a massive chicken, bigger then anything they had seen before, Bogias responded by saying "No, No, the only chickens I've seen are the ones in the ice box, they are average size, exactly 3.6 kilograms, a fun fact if you add all them up, divide by 2, and then multiply by 7 you get a guess at our average food cost."  The Hero knew what it meant when Bogias went off on a math tangent, and he knew it could take a couple of hours for him to finish, and every minute counted, so he crept away.

  He approached the spot he was thrown from to find the massive bird waiting for him. "Perhaps I underestimated you Hero, but I shall no more." With that a set of retractable metal talons shot out, he had never seen talons like this before.  "What sort of sorcery is this? How can you have no talons one minute and then have metal the next? Who are you?" "The name is Cluckus, I am the first and last of my kind, before they started this fresh, never frozen kind of my race, the farmers who watched us pumped us full of chemicals to make us grow faster, but me I grew too fast, and my bones began to deteriorate, not wanting to lose any of his flock, the genius farmer replaced my bones with something called Adamantium, it is impenetrable so your puny blade won't cut through it, and it allows me to heal faster as well, so there is nothing you can do to me, you will never remove the bones of another chicken again."

 "Wait, I don't remove the bones of a chicken.........well unless the townsfolk want a sandwich, and I hate making sandwiches......between you and me I try to leave a bone intact so they find it and don't want a sandwich anymore. It is not me you seek, it is the Deboner, it is he who seeks to turn your kind into oversize whoopie cushions." "Hmmm, I had heard this Deboner's name spoken, but thought no man could truly name himself such a terrible and giggle worthy name." "Yeah I couldn't believe it either, but he is real,and he is powerful, but maybe if we combine our forces he can be stopped." "Well I still don't like what you do to my race, and you still have to pay for your actions, but the fight against evil is a fight that must be fought first, let's go then, join me in my crusade."

 "Ummm technically, I fought the Deboner first, so your joining me in my Crusade."

 "This is gonna be a long trek."

 "Do you think when we win, they will write tales about us, The Adventures of the Hero and Cluckus"

 "You mean The Adventures of Cluckus and the Hero"

 "THE HERO AND CLUCKUS"

 "CLUCKUS AND THE HERO"

 This argument lasted two whole days, until something happened that would bring them together, and nearly tear the harvest apart.

The Chicken Hero Saga Chapter 3: Dream Warriors

  As he wondered along the beaten path en route to the harvest the Hero began to wonder.  His mind often wondered, this thoughts rapid, rarely having to do with anything of importance, one minute he could be trying to figure what his next meal would be, the next he was remembering for some reason the time his father taught of him the birds and the bees.  Most family patriarchs would sit their son down and nervously describe the events that take place, some dads use awkward diagrams; however, the Hero's father had some how managed to capture a bird and bee and began to use them upon each other to physically demonstrate to the now near traumatized boy.  The wails of that bird when the stinging began had never left his mind, nor he feared they never would.  Today his thoughts were of more importance, he didn't mind the chicken harvest, he knew he was providing a valuable service, but he couldn't help but think there was something more he could be doing in life.  He was talented, both at the harvest, and in other ways, he could draw, he liked to draw, he liked to draw people.  Back at his hut he had a book of sketches, sketches of hundreds of faces, many who worked with at the harvest. The Hero wondered if he could make money off of this, his Facebook as he called it.  He just needed to get the idea out there, maybe if he took the pictures and put it on walls all over he could get people to like them and they would be hooked instantly.

  His thoughts were interrupted by the sight of the harvest in the distance, and the sight of something more ominous much closer to him, crouching in the middle of the path was the Deboner.  The Hero wondered when their paths would cross again, and as he was beginning to speak it had hit him, some mysterious substance thrown by the Deboner had hit him, and he was covered in it.  As he examined it, a strange look  came over him, one of confusion.

"Did you just throw powdered gravy at me? Did you really steal powdered gravy from the harvest and throw it at me?"

The Deboner, now standing fully erect, laughed manically, and responded.

"Others call you the Hero, let's see how much of a hero you are now that you covered in the Deboner's special gravy!

"Please, please don't say it like that. it sounds really weird and really gross and...you know...while I'm at it, what in the hell kind of name is the Deboner anyway, do you know how ridiculous it is?"

"Well I use magic powers to debone chickens, that's kind of my deal"

"Well your name is stupid, it doesn't inspire fear, it inspires giggles, I mean where do you live Mount Cialis or something?"

 "I have a summer home there yes.....but"

"Oh come on, you don't even realize what the name also means"

"No, and besides, the ladies love it"

"Oh come on, yeah right"

"Your mom did"

"You are a son of a......."

 Just then something weird happened, the Hero's legs started to buckle, and everything began to go dark, all around him he heard laughing, he swore if he wet himself he would think he was back doing that recital in elementary school.

 When he awoke on the side of that road, his head throbbed, he was both dis-oriented, and disgusted at whatever substance covered him, just then he saw the chicken harvest, and he knew things would be okay, weird, but okay; however, as he started walking he noticed that as much as he walked, the harvest was not getting any closer, in fact it was moving in the opposite direction. He began to walk faster, it moved faster, he began to run fast, it went harder in the opposite direction, it reminded him of every girl he tried to date in high school.  He knew something was afoot, never had the harvest been able to move before, and now that he thought about it, the sky was never purple before, and the trees never had teeth before.

 He had to get a grip, he knew this couldn't be reality, the sky was blue, trees couldn't eat things, but hmmm if they could eat, what would they eat? He made a mental to note to ask them before he got out of this crazy place he was in. His mind was fuzzy, but he knew he had to make sure all his bases were covered....WAIT....covered, he was covered in something, the gravy, he had to get rid if it somehow, maybe if he could get it off of him reality could be restored. Think Hero think, he needed something to absorb the gravy, to soak it up with........BREAD.......he had to find bread.  There was bread at the harvest, but how would he get there, every step he took, it took two in the other direction, he looked around, needing something, anything, he gazed upon his trusty spool of chicken string, it was a long shot but he had to try, he unspooled the most string he ever had before, so much that Bogias the provider of the kitchen goods would get on his case, saying it was a special order and would take weeks to get more.

 With a mighty toss he hurled the string and with luck the first shot he lassoed one of the tables, it was sturdy now the string just had to hold, without warning he began to be pulled towards the harvest, and as he raced, so did his mind, he would get the Deboner for this, and that mom comment, he would rue the day he crossed the Hero.  After some minor cuts and bruises, and getting some rocks in uncomfortable places, he reached the end of his rope and had arrived at the harvest.  As he scrambled to find bread, everything began moving in slow motion, he felt like he did when he second hand smoked some of the weedgrass at Petrius the third's house, without the hunger. He.....very.......sloooooowlllllyyyyyyyy......reeeeeachhhhhed....foooooooor.....the......breaddddddd...and it..........veryyyyyyyyy slooooowwwwwlllyyyyyy fellllllllll onnnnnnn hiiiiiiiim. Without hesitation but still very very slowly he wiped up all the gravy, remembering the mental note he made before, he found a tree with teeth and asked him what he would eat, the tree responded "Vegetables........but then I'm a cannibal." Just then he witnessed the savagery of the tree eating a baby shrub and he begin to wipe as hard and fast as he possibly could, until he collapsed to the ground.

 He awoke with many faces staring at him, his brother Robbieus, his cousin/manager of the harvest Petrius, next to him in a heap was Bogias the provider of goods, when asked if the same fate had befallen him, the Hero was told "No, he just saw how much chicken string you wasted." When one by one they asked what happened to him, he responded one by one with "Stick a sock in it"...except of course to his brother Robbieus who could throw him a clear two towns over, he choose not to explain, instead he ran, ran so far away, the Deboner couldn't get away, not this time.  He ran down the path at full speed, when his world turned upside down, literally, for he had ran into a trap, and found himself entangled in netting hanging upside down from a tree.  Expecting to see the Deboner, nothing could prepare him for what he saw when he looked down, for standing there was straight out of something from the world he just left, it was, it was.............TO BE CONTINUED

The Chicken Hero Saga Chapter 2: The waiting is the hardest part

 The day started out like any other day for the Hero, the big ball of fire in the sky had risen, next door to him the rooster had begun crowing, it seemed ever since that rooster made the cover of that cereal box he thought he could do whatever he wanted, and make noise all hours of the day.  The Hero stirred out of bed, putting on his pants two legs at one time(because he didn't play by society's one leg at a time pants rule) he headed toward the kitchen.  As he put two slices of bread into the bread warming device he wondered what kind of day it would be at the harvest, he had grown accustomed to the harvest and it's routine, and since the Deboner had been quiet lately things were peaceful, when suddenly it hit him........a golden brown piece of bread nailed him between the eyes, he really needed to get that device fixed.

  Upon his arrival he noticed that today the harvest was far busier then usual.  Townsfolk were lined up outside the fence and clear into the pasture, standing there dough eyed like the sheep that surrounded the very pasture they stood in.  The Hero approached his brother Robbieus and looking again at the line asked what was making them so busy.  Robbieus replied that "There is a traveling minstrel in town at the local fairgrounds, and it is bringing more people here then usual."  Looking at the line he noticed something, it was not just the townsfolk in the line, there were new people, with more crooked teeth and longer unkempt hair, their odd footwear was made of the strongest rubber and exceeded their kneecaps.  He was fascinated for he had truly never seen a mullet before.

  Work for the Hero was easy he found, there were rarely dull moments at the harvest but essentially it was the same practice.  People came in, they ate, they left, more people came in, they ate, they left, everyday turn, turn, turn, he felt all the seasons turn, turn, turn.  Sure his co-workers amused him, there was the lovable oaf Andrewis who at the age of seven was hit by a passing wagon while crossing a beaten path, he was a good hand even if sometimes he couldn't remember which way was left and which way was right.  Then there were the dishwashers, a motley band of misfits led by the ogrish Christoph, a mountain of a man, who was warm of heart yet also likely responsible for the disappearances of past dishwashers.  The dishwashers were a low form of life, often adverse to sun light and forced to live off the scraps of the plates they washed but they were good to have in battle, as long as you slid them chicken strips while no one was looking.

  Despite the rampant business and the droves of people coming from everywhere, things were running smoothly at the harvest.  People were jovial, laughing and carrying on, until suddenly disaster struck, one of the fire pits stopped working, the fire had gone out without warning, and like a midget trying to reach something on the second shelf they knew it was gone forever.  They had a back up fire pit that was waiting to be used, but assembly would require a group of workers from two towns over and the money was simply not there.  As the chicken stock depleted, panic increased, word spread like weed grass at Petrus the third's house that there would be no white meat for extended periods of time.  Whispers became yelling, yelling had turned into screaming, and screaming turned into shoving.

  Without warning the townsfolk turned on each other, reminding the others of who was there first. " A HALF HOUR ON WHITE MEAT, I WILL WAIT, HERE'S ALL MY MONEY I WANT TO BUY ALL THE CHICKEN!" The Hero had never seen anything like it, regular people turning into bloodthirsty animals.  Stress truly affected everyone differently, in times of crisis like these, some serving wenches shut down and could only recite two questions, pacing about asking "Do you have mine?" and "How long now?" Some became mathematicians "So if I ring 5 quarter whites 10 mph faster then she can ring in 6 quarter whites will they intersect?'  The Hero had no time to answer these questions for now the townsfolk were storming the kitchen area, trying to get their hands on whatever chicken they could.  The Hero's brother Robbieus took two townsfolk and heaved them a clear two towns over. The ogrish Christoph charged at the townsfolk, throwing plates, scattering them in all directions, the Hero was impressed as it was more neatly then he usually scattered them.  The Hero grabbed his trusty blade and the impenetrable chicken string, lassoing anyone he could find. 

 The battle went on for what seemed like minutes when a loud cough was heard to break the chaos.  Everyone turned to see Bogyeus the kitchen manager standing with chicken in his hands.  The townsfolk awaited the news, but all they got was more coughing, until they thought his lung had arisen from his body.  When the coughing subsided, he announced that they had chicken now.  Somewhat bloodied and beaten, the townsfolk returned to their seats, and when the first glowing hot piece of white meat was given to the first customer, they took a big bite, breathed a sigh of relief and exclaimed......."this isn't cooked, get me another" and with that the brawl started again........just another day at the harvest.