Moose on the Juice

There's an old saying that goes animals are people too, well it's either an old saying or I made it up, either one is very possible. Anywho this statement makes a lot of sense to me, most days Bear has more of a personality then I do, and you should see him drive.........if any law enforcement are reading this I meant driving as in playing golf. I mean if you hit an animal does it not cry, if you cut it does it not bleed, if you cook it does it not taste delicious. It seems to me the more time animals spend around humans the easier it is to pick up their habits, whether good or bad. No where is this more true then in Sweden, home of, hands down, the most entertaining moose on the planet. News outlets everywhere reported the other day the story of an errand moose who had eaten one too many fermented apples, possibly after a hard day at the office, and stumbled it's way into a tree, getting stuck in the process. Hey at least it hit a tree and survive, Ryan Dunn couldn't do that.

I think what led to the drunken downfall of the moose was that he forgot the key differences in apple products, clearly forgetting that if it's clear and yella you got juice their fella, and if it's dark and brown your in cider town, now of course here in Canada the whole thing is flip flopped. The moose was discovered by a man just returning home from work after he heard a loud bellowing coming from next door, and at first dismissed it as "someone having a laugh." Now I know not many people care for their neighbors and all but if I was reading a story and saw that my neighbor had said that I sounded like a moose, he'd be drinking too, a pint of my right first followed by a chaser of good ole lefty here.

Police were called to the scene, as the fire dept was only equipped to get cats out of trees apparently, upon their arrival and along with several people, they worked on freeing the massive beast, all the while getting yelled at by the moose to not judge him, and that the people didn't know him, and that he could pull a rabbit out of his hat. Upon freedom from the tree, the police were preparing to issue a breathalyzer test, but they assumed he was pretty drunk after he collapsed like some drunken frat boy after a toga party............do they even still have toga parties any more.............hehehe moose in a toga, oh come on you were thinking it. The moose was ordered to spend a night in the drunk tank, which I'm guessing either didn't really help the other drunks to sober up or REALLY helped them to sober up and fast.

The moose was also charged with a DUI( deer under the influence) and was ordered to start attending AA(appleholics anonymous). The trial is expected to be quite the spectacle in Sweden, as have you ever seen a moose trapped inside, it's not pretty, especially if there are representatives from MADD (mooses against drunk deer). I know the moose is sorrowful, and you can see the embarrassment on his face, but to the moose I say keep your chin up, no matter how bad it looked or how bad the hangover, you never looked as bad as this: