A lifetime of causing malice and harm to innocent chickens makes one lose his grip on reality
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Dream Cleaver
Last night I had that dream again, it always starts the same, I wake up not in my bed but on a cold plastic surface, bound by string. I struggle but it does me no good for if anybody that has used this string knows it is impenetrable, if somebody has you tied up in it, they don't want you to get free. I'm disoriented at first, can't get my bearings, everything looks familiar yet different, all around me I see cold metallic gray objects, then I hear the same complaint that an oven is not working and it hits me, I'm at work. I think to myself okay it's work, I spend more time here then I do home I can escape this easily, I'll just roll off the line and dodge those giant chickens and slide out the back..........wait what.............giant chickens.
I look up to see a giant chicken approaching me, older then the young chickens we usually serve but still pink enough that the customer will complain, what does he have in his claw I wonder, uh oh, that's a chicken knife, I knew this day would come, my day of reckoning, when these chickens would fly the coup, rise up and avenge the loss of their brethren, there's nothing I can do now. The knife comes closer, I think I hear the chicken laughing, or is it Bogey, maybe he can help, or do they have him too? I'M COMING BOGEY I try to scream but nothing comes out. The knife is even closer now, but he stops, why did he stop? He appears to be angrily clucking at one of the female chickens outside the line. The female chicken keeps tapping a roll on the line, rap tap tapping on the line to show how hard it is, I don't get it as they are chickens I didn't think they would be fussy as to what they ate but I have bigger problems.
My confusion turns again to fear as the large chicken once again yields the blade and lowers it again ever slowly, obviously savoring this moment. I start to sweat, wait that's not sweat, then why is my face getting wet? I awake to find bear over top of me, it's time to go out apparently, phew I was just dreaming, I have dodged another bullet.
It's always the same dream, over and over, physically the chicken cannot do much, but psychologically it can drive a person insane. My thoughts are as disjointed as a person with rickets, sleep is now like a sane Mel Gibson interview, few and far between, but I keep pushing on, fighting the good fight as it were, eliminating every foul creature I can till I reach the big chicken drawer in the sky, if I go in that direction, knowing my luck God is a member of PETA, and is against this raging Foulocaust that occurs every year in our many many convenient locations. Friends and family, and even rapper Nelly have tried to tell me that it's only just a dream, but seriously you try and sleep when you close your eyes and all you see is this:
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