Monday, May 16, 2011

French(fried) kiss of Death

Sad news in the food world this weekend, as food giant(not an actual giant, reports are he was only average height) Wallace McCain, co-founder of McCain foods died this weekend. Details are yet to be hashed(browns) 0ut but it appears McCain died after succumbing to a long battle with pancreatic cancer. On a site note, isn't the pancreas a jerk, you barely know it's there, no one pays attention to it until BOOM, doctor says "Sir I'm sorry you have cancer, it's in your pancreas" and your all like "Cancer?" and "Pancreas?". McCain is remembered fondly by colleagues and customers of his fine food, though some felt he deserved what he had coming to him for unleashing that annoying slow eating french fry kid, yeah, you all remember him, who didn't hate that kid?

McCain foods was created in 1956 when Wallace and his brother Harrison in search of ways to make money traveled to Ireland and stole their potatoes. It wasn't their intention to steal all the potatoes but after Wallace had taken one his brother bet him that he couldn't steal just one and before they knew it they had all the potatoes. Not knowing what to do next they decided to eat the evidence, it was a slow process, so they decided to share their new found bounty with the rest of the world and created McCain french fries. As time went on and business grew McCain began to develop a chip on his shoulder, yet through all his success he lived a straight(cut) life, he had not a care in world, that is until life decided to grab him by the old short and curly fries.

Not satisfied with just unleashing greasy delicious fries onto the world, McCain became chairman of Maple Leaf foods, cause if your trying to drive up the cholesterol levels of Canadians, you need meat of some kind. When I saw that he was chairman of Maple Leaf Foods I thought "Bologna", no way he was time to be involved in two major companies like that. Truly it must have driven a wedge(fry) between him and his family, but no apparently his family life was solid, which makes him a real wiener in my books.

McCain's responded to the sad news by replacing those happy face fries you get sometimes with sad face fries for a limited time only. Wallace McCain lived a fine life, even when sick he put on a brave face, but then the crinkles started to appear in his armor, until eventually he was hanging on by his shoestrings, and then passed peacefully away. No word on his funeral arrangements, but I assume he will be cremated, his ashes then put into a french fry bag, which will be rolled up and put in the back of the freezer until the family needs to see it. God Speed Wallace McCain, thanks for contributing to my fatness for many years.

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