Last Friday was supposed to be the start of an exciting time for me, it was the start of my mini holidays. I usually don't ask for many days off, I tend to work long hours, six sometimes seven days a week, I like to think I'm a machine, much like a terminator(I need your boots and your clothes) but with it being so busy lately I asked for a few days off just to recharge. It was supposed to be a time of accomplishment, my own summer of George if you will, only in September. I was finally going to get around to those memoirs........that I'd been reading, I was going to find a nice pond and feed the ducks as to fatten them up so I could feed on them, but fate, fate had other ideas. My holidays started nicely enough, a relaxing Friday night, a busy Saturday spent cleaning the apartment but soon disaster would strike in the name of mysterious ankle pain. Ankle pain is my one true weakness, my Achilles heel if you will and it struck suddenly on Saturday, worsening on Sunday, no doubt aggravated by a heated three point contest on Wii Sports Resort. I went to the doctor and his diagnosis was simply.....your an idiot and stop playing video games, I didn't see any ducks at the pond but it looks like I found a quack.
Everyone told me to keep my leg elevated, eventually it was higher then Lindsay Lohan is these days, and with my attention span so short I'm not one to sit around with my legs in the air like some Vietnamese prostitute(no offense to Vietnamese woman, I could have used any nationality but why have hamburger when you could had steak) so I tried to come up with as many fun things to do on one leg as possible, and here is what I came up with:
- Reenact Terry Fox's legendary run across Canada, now on two legs I can barely run across the street but with one leg I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. I started by ceremoniously dipping my leg in the bathtub but much like the water caused Terry Fox's leg to rust(as alleged...........by me) it was my downfall too, as I didn't complete the journey, but only because I tripped over a bath towel that had fallen on the floor.
-Find an army jacket and yell at a bunch of kids about how you've seen some things man, and some stuff, and you wouldn't recommend it.
-Master Hopscotch
-Randomly fall down and see how many people pick you up. Warning, this may backfire, and to the person who stole my wallet while I was unconscious please stop using all my Subway points, DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY COOKIES THOSE POINTS WILL GET ME YOU MONSTER.
-Play Mario Kart Wii for hours
- Become introduced to new levels of rage while playing Mario Kart Wii, seriously why does everything have to come at you at once, and if one more character hits me, Wii are going to have some serious problems.
So there you have it, just some ways where you can make the best out of a bad situation, the way I look at it, at least I'm not a horse or I'd be glue right now. Being glue would totally suck but hey at least I could form a bond with anything.
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