Ah the majestic bear, for hundreds of years they have asserted their dominance, tremendously fast for their size, great catchers of fish, bringers of fear for hikers, in fact the only thing bears can't do is win a Superbowl. As of today bears can add a new quality to their resume, protector of weed crops. Mounties in British Columbia who went into the woods the other day couldn't believe their eyes, for in the trees where nobody sees, they were not playing hide and seek as long as they please, and this was no teddy bear's picnic, what the Mounties stumbled on was a huge crop of marijuana plants that were apparently being guarded by black bears.
Mounties in B.C. were reportedly given a tip that there was a huge crop of marijuana in the woods just southwest of Calgary; however, what the informant somehow forget to mention was that the weed growers HAD SURROUNDED THE PLACE WITH BEARS....ahem.... sorry but I think this ruins the informants chances of getting any money from Crime Stoppers. Officers were surprised at how tame the bears seemed to be until they clued in on the fact that hey, they were probably fed some of the weed to keep them calm, no doubt the first bit was free, but gradually the price went up. You know now that I think about it, is feeding the bears marijuana really a good plan? I mean I'm no expert, I've never touched the stuff, but I know it gives you a severe case of the munchies, so do you really want to be around a hungry bear?
The Mounties, much like most NHL teams, had no trouble getting past the bruins, and investigating the crop, some of the bears were even quite helpful. A few of the bears mentioned that they had seen a blond haired girl roaming around, and that they even thought she had been sleeping in their beds and eating their porridge. One bear mentioned that the owners of the crop were nice people but they could be harsh, he went on to say that he was suspended without pay once because and I quote "I was gonna go to work, but then I got high."
When I read this news story it made me shake my head, it's crazy what lengths some people will go too. It is a story that is really too crazy to make up, of course who is to say that the Mounties never got into the stash, I mean I once chased an imaginary midget for 2 miles after taking an Advil so after a couple of joints, who knows, maybe some bears that weren't there a minute ago randomly pop out. The bears were taken away from the area, and sadly it seems they may have to be put down, cause have you ever seen a bear go through withdrawals, I haven't, but something tells me it would be terrifying yet hilarious. Some of the bears accepted their fate, and were able to grin and bear it, while others could bear-ly contain themselves. Just let this be a lesson to the rest of you pot growers thinking of using bears as security, you may think it's a great plan but it's a total polar opposite of that, there will be many black days ahead, and if found out, the results could be quite grizzly.
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