Today while on the internet I was feeling a little bored so I went to Google and began looking for what most guys look for when they are bored on the internet........that being sites that will allow you to play.........old super Nintendo games for free. It was on this trek that I discovered the crown jewel, one of my most favorite games of all time, Super Mario Kart. I am not here to bash this game, for it will always hold a special place for me, but as with most things age and "wisdom" have given me perspective on some of the things that occur in the game, and some of the things it might have taught us children. I still love video games today but there is something magical about them when you are a kid, the joys of passing that impossible level, the marvel at your cat like reflexes, the screams.................of your father to turn that off before it ruined the picture on the television, this was truly the golden age.
However, while rekindling this old flame with Mario Kart I started to look at things differently, and memories started to come back. The more I played and the more I thought of it, I'm pretty sure that this is the game that led to my brother Bill's(visit his blog, it's quality reading, and it has grammar and stuff) road rage and video game issues. Now I have been in the car with my brother, and he is in fact a fine driver, but he like most good drivers, like to lament at how many rubes in today's society are allowed to drive, and there tends to be some four letter lamenting. I can't help but wonder if the objects you could hurl at your opponents in the game were real how it would resolve road rage, cause let's face it, sometimes you just gotta throw something.
Actually the throwing of objects is one of the many unsafe things featured in this game. The game is laden with such dangers as banana peels, oil slicks(that don't kill any animals looking at you BP) giant mud patches, and the most dangerous of them all, a woman driver......okay okay I kid I kid................she's on a go kart she can't do that much damage, but if you look closer I swear you can see her putting on her make-up while driving. That, if your counting, is reason number 1,45o why I'm still single, but anywho, the game allows you to travel at break neck speeds, some levels provide no safety railings which allow you to plummet to earth like Tiger Woods golf game, and gives you no chance to slow down before becoming a wreck, much like Lindsay Lohan.
The game puts you under immense pressure, the way the music amps up on the final lap, which brings out the desire to crush your opponent like a bug. You can employ strategies, like the placing of a turtle shell or a banana peel to wipe out your competitors, but that could come back to haunt you if you stick something in the wrong place, once again much like Tiger Woods.
Oh who am I kidding, I still love this game, not since the time I kicked those kindergarten kids off the playground have i felt so good about asserting my dominance, still undefeated on the beach course baby, as Johnny Drama would say on Viking Quest.....VICTORY.
****Disclaimer**** no animals were hurt in my playing of Mario Kart, besides that one stupid mole who wouldn't get off my kart until I fell in the water, they got me out in time but I'm pretty sure he drowned, let that be a lesson to the rest of you moles
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