Thursday, April 2, 2020



The Chicken Hero Saga 21: Down with the Sickness

Four Years ago:

“Give it up Mystifer, you can’t win!” exclaimed the Chicken Hero as he wrapped his trusty chicken string around his foe.
“Dear sweet Chicken Hero, your hubris will be your undoing,” Mystifier replied, “What makes you so sure you can win? Is it because I am a new villain? Never before explained, not a part of your canon?”
“I…...don’t have a cannon. I have my chicken string, and it is all I need to defeat you!” As he walked toward his latest defeated foe, the Chicken Hero couldn’t believe how easy it was to defeat the Mystifier, it seemed like the fight was over before anybody knew who he was. As it turns out, our hero would learn that what seems too easy, often is not.

“Well, Chicken Hero, you have done well to defeat me, you have earned a rest. Yes, yes, it is an extended rest you need,” said the Mystifier, as he exhaled a cloud of dust.
“Do you really expect some powder to hurt me? What are you trying to do, annoy me to death?” balked the Chicken Hero, when a wave of extreme tiredness hit him. He staggered forward. “I am just gonna sit here for a minute before I -”
With a mighty crash, our hero hit the ground and fell into a deep sleep, never to wake up.
Until...

Present 

He was not sure what woke him as the Chicken Hero lurched into an upright position, but two things were sure, as he looked around his home, he had so many questions. How long was he asleep? Why was he asleep so long? Where was his fair maiden Anna? His trusty steeds, Bear and Brody? What was this skittish orange creature on the bed? A feline? Surely not.
“Who are you, little creature?” the Chicken Hero asked, then noticed a pendant around his neck. “Lord Edgar. Hmmm, well you look quite noble, but you are certainly no steed.”
The tiny feline shot our hero an offended glare, jumped to his feet and flounced away. “I need answers, I need to find out what happened to me, I need….I need….to pee.” Years of stiffness and a build up of urine made his trek to the basin room seem nearly impossible. As with most quests, his journey was arduous but he reached his goal and was quickly filled with immense relief.

Ten minutes later Having regained the ability to walk normally, the Chicken Hero set out on a quest to find out what happened while he was comatosed. However, he was not ready for what he found when he walked out his door. There was nothing. No life as far as the eye could see, and his cross eyedness gave him the ability to see in all directions. His village was always a bustling town, there were always activities being done by some group. What had happened? Where was everybody? Were they also asleep?

The Chicken Hero was not sure what to make of this, nobody was moving from their homes. There was a lot more snow than usual for his village, like a lot more, he was not sure what future he had woken up in, but it seemed very bleak. Our hero knew there was one place he could find answers. When everything around him changed, he could always take solace in one constant: the Harvest.

The walk to the Harvest was a strange one indeed. Many buildings had large X’s painted on their door; merchants that were once thriving were boarded up with messages taped to the wood. He crept closer to see what they said. Our hero was more confused after reading these signs than he was before. Every message on every door had the same wording.

“To our valued townsfolk, In these times of strife and uncertainty, it is important to us that you remain safe. We have spies closely monitoring this situation and it is important that you all stay healthy so that you may spend all your money here if the Gods allow.”

Any questions the Chicken Hero had about his lost memories were replaced by one new question, just what the hell was going on here? The hero continued on, curious about what he just saw, but eager to find out just what had happened since he had been asleep, he dreamed of finding his fair maiden again, his gallant steeds, to once again rub their bellies with vigor, well not maiden Anna’s belly, for she was not a steed of course.

On his journey he began to notice parchments placed on poles. He remembered his dear friend Jamieus, the hemp smoking elf, who once had a job removing these. Did he not have that job anymore? Was he slacking? On further inspection the Chicken Hero noticed that these were official decrees from the office of Emperor Ball. He was not familiar with this Emperor, but his last name made him sound like a man of fun, who surely had the respect of the village and county.

“To all townspeople, it is hereby decreed by Lord Emperor Ball that all citizens must remain in their homes. If you must go out for necessities, you must remain a proper distance away from your fellow villagers. Failure to comply will result in drastic measures which you will be notified about at a later date. Oh I cannot keep a secret, it’s a catapult! You are going to get the catapult! You should see it, it is wonderous! Ahem….right. Comply or fly. Your ruler, Emperor Ball."

The questions kept piling up for the Chicken Hero, it was like every thought was a question now, but how could he stop it? Was that another question? Is this how his life was gonna be now? Darn it? His pace quickened to the Harvest. He had to have answers, he wanted to see his fellow workers again. Hopefully maiden Anna was there with the steeds, and he wanted to see his brother Robbieus the strong, Joshius and his powerful blue wagon, and Bogeyus, man of numbers and literature.

As our hero approached the Harvest, he noted that while it looked the same, something was amiss. It was quiet, too quiet. The Harvest looked like it had slowed considerably. There were only a couple of wagons in the area, while usually there were many. He walked around and could see nobody, no Anna, no steeds, no Robbieus the strong, not even Petieus the third of his name. Where was everyone? What had happened? More questions? Will they ever stop?

The Chicken Hero sunk to the ground. He had woken up in a world that was not the same as he had left it. For the first time since he could remember he was not sure what to do. He always had a plan, but how could he make a plan without any answers? With that thought, the skies parted and the heavens opened up. “
Oh, great,” he said to himself as he prepared for a downpour of rain, and he without a coat. When he looked up at the sky, a ray of light shone down upon him, and with that came a mighty crash. As the smoke from the crash cleared and he looked on with shock and wonder, he couldn’t help but smile a little. With a cough, our hero spoke.
“Well, I never thought I’d see you again.”

To be continued.

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