Saturday, August 6, 2016

The Chicken hero saga 20: Make no bones about it




   The Deboner disappeared as quick as he had appeared, the hero thought it was weird he would just stop in to say hello and not do his usual evil rambling, but he couldn't be concerned about that right now, his nemesis was back, and this time he had to stop him for good. It wasn't really his return that unsettled the hero, most arch nemesis always find a way to return, it was the quiet that followed, as a matter of fact ever since Deboner's return, with the exception of a skirmish in the harvest dining area, that was handled expertly by Anastasia, nothing had happened. The hero tried to work in the harvest as normal, the people needed to be fed, meanwhile wondering what plans the Deboner had in store, if only there was a way he could see into the future.
  That way showed itself a few days later, it was a routine day at the harvest, the skies were darkened and cold, as they had been since the return of the Deboner. The hero was walking through the harvest kitchen to grab his trusty chicken knife when he encountered a mysterious cloaked figure, the figure's incoherent mumbling could not be understood but with skeletal looking fingers they waved the hero over to the large cauldron in which he stood in front of. This was the same cauldron the hero had seen every day, it prepared the sauce the townspeople loved, or hated, depending on who you asked. Something was different about the sauce on this day, it was boiling more than usual and as the cloaked figure pointed a bony fingers the bubbles ceased and images could be seen in the sauce. An image of what appeared to be bones marching appeared in the sauce.
  "What does this mean? What I am looking at?"
   The mysterious figure just responded with crazy arm motions and incomprehensible gibberish, the hero spying Joshius the tall asked him who this strange figure was, and how long he had been here
  "Oh that's the new oracle that Lord Whitticus hired"
  "An oracle? Really? We can't get anyone to work in the harvest but he hires an oracle?"
    Joshius just shrugged and walked away, as the oracle once again pointed the raging sauce cauldron, images were flashing in the sauce that really had nothing to do with the Deboner, he wondered what they could mean until words started to appear, he read them out loud
  "You can skip to your vision in five seconds"
   When five counted down the oracle placed his talon like finger in to the sauce and clicked a large X, then what the hero saw shocked him, there in the sauce cauldron was the image of the Deboner, but he was taller, almost as if he was standing over someone, was it the hero he was standing over the hero wondered. The hero was snapped back to reality by the shouting of harvest dining manager Kristeenus who was angry that several townspeople had complained about bones in their feast, namely in several bowls of hearty broth. The hero knew this was no mere coincidence, quickly grabbing his trusy knife and chicken string he ran into the harvest dining room, he was running to warn the serving wenches and the villagers to flee, that it wasn't safe, but what he ran into was an empty harvest dining area, empty that is except for the Deboner, and Kevinus, who was sat on his trusty perch.
  "Kevinus, are you okay? Has he broken your legs? Is that why you cannot flee?"
  "No I'm just on break, why does everyone always think I'm hurt or paralyzed?"
  "ENOUGH OF THIS" screamed the Deboner
  "The time has come for this to end hero, the harvest will be mine, there can only be one of us hero, I will be victorious and you.....you will just be totally boned?"
  Before the hero could sarcastically ask the Deboner how long it took him to come up with that line the Deboner clapped his hands and suddenly from out of nowhere and all around him a horde of creatures appeared, they had no flesh the hero could see, they were all bones. Suddenly Kevinus arose and fled with such speed the hero thought Karenus had asked him to clean the harvest windows. The hero, now left alone, faced incredible odds as the giant horde surrounded him.
  "So let me get this straight, you hate bones, yet your army is made of nothing but bones"
  "You have to appreciate the irony"
  The hero couldn't help but nod, but then charged head long into the horde, his trusty chicken knife thrusting to the left and to the right, up and down, as bones kept piling up more bone soldiers kept coming, he fought valiantly but the odds were not in his favor, he collapsed to his knees, tired and weak, the bone soldiers surrounded him in a circle, it was quiet now, there was no sound except a whirling sound, and then a whoosh and a smash. Suddenly bone soldiers started falling all around him, he looked up to see Anastasia throwing serving wench trays and the giant Brendanus wielding his three holed ball, the hero stood back on his feet and begin to lasso the bone creatures with his trusty chicken string, fighting his way to Anastasia and Brendanus, suddenly more reinforcements came as Joshius the tall crashed through the harvest in his big blue wagon. As the hero stopped to admire the carnage created by his tall friend he was grabbed by more soldiers, their grip was stong and dug deep into his shoulders.
  The hero struggled to fight free but it was too no avail, their hold was too strong. all of a sudden he saw a glowing orb headed his way, he manged to duck and the soldiers were hit and decapitated. after the glow faded he saw standing there Shawnus, not only was he the superior harvest table cleaner, he was known as a proficient weaver, cause all he did was make baskets. the hero thanked Shawnus and they continued to fight there way through to Anastasia, Brendanus, and Joshius the tall. Suddenly in the corner of his eye the hero saw the Deboner, he told Shawnus to go to the others, he had to finish this once and for all, as the Deboner started to flee the chicken hero flung his trusty chicken string and tripped the Deboner, it was just the two of them now.
  "Please hero, you have won, show me mercy?"
  "You have been a thorn in my side for too long Deboner, it's time to end this"
  The hero rose his chiken knife up ready to plunge it into the heart of the Deboner, but then stopped
  "Wait a minute, the real Deboner would never beg me for anything, heis  a lot of things, but he is not one to beg, he would still think he had a shot............you....you're not really the Deboner are you?"
  "Of course I am"
  "Okay then, time to end this" The chicken hero hoisted his knife again and as he started to lower it the Deboner screamed"
  "NO PLEASE WAIT......okay okay I'm not the real Deboner, he's still too weak from your last battle, he paid people to make me look like him, I'm a nobody really"
  "So that would make you a......DeCloner"
  "That was more painful than any stab wound"
  As the local prison wagon took the faux Deboner away the hero was joined by Anastasia, Brendanus, Joshius the tall, and Shawnus, and now Bogeyus man of numbers and literature, who missed everything cause he was smoking his vapor stick in his wagon, he thanked them all for their help as they surveyed the damage that had been caused to the harvest, suddenly Joshius tapped him on the shoulder.
  "I found out who the oracle is"
  "Oh really, who is it?"
  "It is Geraldus"
  "Hmmm that explains why I couldn't understand him, and why there is no plates"
  The hero thanked Joshius again and approached Anastasia, he grabbed her by the hand and asked if she was ready to go home and together look after their docile wolves, she nodded in agreement, he admired her greatly, she saved him on this day, and many days before.  As the group were saying their last goodbyes of the day Lord Whitticus entered the harvest, he stopped and looked around shocked, they all waited for him to comment on the destruction.
  "Look at all this staff on, no wonder there's too much overtime in this harvest!"

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