Diggin up bones

  Go ahead, try and read that title without singing digging up bones by Randy Travis. Go ahead, try and sing a Randy Travis song with out getting drunk and naked and driving your car down the road, you can't do it can ya? Maybe one of them, but not even Randy Travis can't do both of them.  Well, it has been a while since I did this, the amount of dust around this place suggests that it was September of last year since I wrote anything, okay it was the computer machine that tells me it was September, the amount of dust tells me I really need to clean more.  That is not to say that I never clean, in fact it was cleaning that brought me back here, and a discovery of an old blast from the past; although, really what else could a blast from the past be but old, it couldn't be a new blast from the future could it, unless Micheal J. Fox is at it again, and I hear these days his attempts at time travel are shaky at best(note to my two readers in Poland, don't worry if you don't understand that last joke, someday when you get 1980's American television you will understand).

  Today while cleaning out my closet (and not rapping about it like Eminem) I discovered a paper I wrote from my university days. As I perused the pages of yore a couple of things happened to me. First, I discovered that my grammar was pretty good back then, or the professor's grammar was terrible because she rarely corrected me for grammatical errors.  Secondly, the itch came back, now it might have been just all the dust causing the itch, or reminiscing about using massive amounts of hyperbole to make it seem like I knew what I was talking about, but whatever it was, it led me back to here.  I don't get weepy when I think back of the old days, in fact I didn't cry when my own father was hung for stealing a pig(by stealing a pig I mean taking the last piece of bacon during breakfast, and by hung I mean stared at disapprovingly). However, I did get to thinking about how times have changed since then, a time when the world had not yet crushed my spirits, just dampened them. It was a simpler time, Jean Chretien was prime minister, and much like his face he never moved from that position for a long time.  In America, kids went to school and shot basketballs and not each other, and I know you young people will by shocked by this one, but non-white people could fly without persecution.

  While thinking about where we've been, one can't help but wonder about where we are going, and what people will be like in the years to come.  You hear of many schools that plant time capsules, as a way for newer generations to see what the people who came before them were like, I hope for hope's sake that no teenager ever puts a screenshot of their Facebook page up, it will take a team of analysts to dissect the vagueness and passive aggressiveness of today's youth.  I asked myself if I were to ever create a time capsule, what would be somethings I would put in there, what would show people years or decades from now what it was like during my time, so here it is, a list of things I would leave:

- Bananas, just in case our future really is ruled by apes

- A T-shirt that reads "You dug all this way and all you got was this lousy T-shirt

- Twinkies, nothing outlives Twinkies.........except maybe Keith Richards, and no one wants to eat Keith Richards.........do they?

- Next, a pile of vomit after picturing Keith Richards

- A bomb, talk about a blast from the past

- Ben Stiller, not cause I want to have the people of the future to endure him, I just think he belongs in a box, deep deep underground.

 Finally, I would leave a letter hoping that they learned from our mistakes, I hope they found ways to abolish the evil things like poverty, war, and Oprah. I hope their kids weren't like a lot of today's kids and have respect for their parents, hey when my siblings and I did wrong we were chased by our stick wielding mom, and we turned out fine........except for our collective fear of sticks.

 Finding that paper today I was reminded of all the lessons that I learned coming up in this world, and I learned something else very important, I really really need to learn how to throw things away.