The Gull

Once upon a morning dreary, while I wondered weak and weary
Over many a pile of garbage bags laid by the door,
While my slippers I was wearing, suddenly there came a tearing,
'Tis my neighbor' I muttered, swearing as he sputtered
Only this and nothing more

Distinctly I remember, for it was early in November,
And Mother Nature's temp had dropped to minus four,
This could not wait until the morrow, my landlady's garbage net I'd have to borrow
For me now there was no sorrow, upon completion of this chore,
For the council appoints the time of this chore,
Assigned here for evermore

On the sound of savage ripping,
I wondered if my mind was slipping,
My neighbors fingers he was flipping,
My neighbor cursing by my apartment door,
Only this, and nothing more

Presently the stench grew stronger,
I could not last a minute longer,
'Excuse me' I said daring,
'Could you please cut out the swearing,
For the whole street it is hearing,
Words they haven't heard before'
He just stood there, nothing more

As I stood upon him peering,
Another outburst i was fearing
For I had just wanted to complete my chore,
Suddenly he broke the lull, pointed forward and whispered "Gull"
'Gull' I whispered, stunned by the word spoke before,
Garbage there and nothing more

Back into my apartment turning,
My neighbors rage inside him burning,
I heard him swearing louder then he had before,
I looked outside my window pane,
As he became more profane,
'Tis his mind, and nothing more'

Open then I flung the door, then my heart began to sore,
For at the garbage the gull had tore,
Not the least compassion showed he,
Nothing could stop or sway he,
Perched upon the garbage he had tore,
Perched and sat, he ate some more

Then the ivory bird sat waiting,
On my nerves he was grating,
Because of the smug and smarmy look he wore,
As garbage littered the street, I wondered how it could be beat,
Wondered if I could defeat,
This bird who at my garbage tore,
Quoth the gull "got anymore"

I marveled at this gull now walking,
Surely he could not be talking,
This creature who at my garbage tore,
I obviously needed sleep,
Go back to bed and count more sheep,
Surely while this bird was stalking,
He could not really be talking,
Asking if I had any more

The gull now sitting on the bag,
Engaged me in a game of tag,
As it's wings it did flutter,
I wondered how it would taste with butter,
As revenge for my garbage tore,
When the truck comes he will leave,
My neighbor he did not believe
"He will be gone, nevermore"

Startled by his reply
'Definitely' said I, for the winter it is near,
And he will surely disappear,
Then no longer will our bags be tore,
Quoth the Gull "got anymore"

But the gull, still there sitting,
Caused my neighbor to start spitting, more profanity then ever before,
This gull would drive a man to drinking,
As the bag continued shrinking,
The garbage bag at which he tore,
He will not get anymore

Just then the fog grew denser,
The gull chewed on a Pez Dispenser,
'wretch' I cried, it was not funny,
As he severed the head of Bugs Bunny,
Coming out the bag from which he tore,
What's up Doc? Nevermore

Defeated I sat in a slump,
'Get thee back into the dump'
Was this bird, or was this devil,
Truly it was not on the level,
I had just wanted to complete this chore
But he showed the bag what for,
And now it will be taken, nevermore

The truck it is here, the gull departing,
As the clean-up I am starting, but the truck continues darting,
Darting down the road some more,
The anger now inside me swelling,
Soon I commence to yelling, yelling by my bag that's tore,
Leave no trash as a token, can't you hear what I have spoken?
He just drove down the road some more

And the garbage, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting,
On the street, by my apartment door,
All the neighbors do is yell,
And complain about the smell, from the garbage that was tore,
They will continue to frown,
Until I hear from the town,
The odor shall be lifted, nevermore