I believe I can Fry(A song for Colin)

Hey everyone, recently at work we received news that our beliked Colin would be leaving us to go back to his native planet of Winnipeg. Colin is a good chap so at first I was saddened, then I was hungry, then I was full, then I had to use the bathroom, then I was full of acceptance, he is only trying to better himself, and with no one else willing to take him he had to go back to Winnipeg. When Colin leaves I don't know what I'll do, who I will endlessly pick on, in the words of Dr. Evil, I'll probably move on, get a new fry guy, but there will be a ten minute period where I would be inconsolable. I will have many memories of insulting Colin, from calling him by his given nickname Colon, to the jokes about his freakish mutant height, and even the constant barbs about nailing his imaginary Jewish sister, there were many good times, so I figure I at least owe him a tribute, and in song form, so without further adieu, set to R Kelly's I Believe I Can Fly, it's Colin's song I Believe I Can Fry:

I never knew when I had to come on
But when I did, the fries are what I done
I know the fries are what the people love
But I keep hitting my heads off the hoods

If the plate I can see, then I can fry it
For $1.99 extra, I can poutine it

I believe I can fry
So tall that I'm the sky
Fry your plates every night and day
I'll sauce these wings and fry away
Now the fries they want more
Try not to slip on this greasy floor
I believe I can fry
I believe I can fry
I believe I can fry

The fryer's on the verge of breaking down
And the hoods are so very loud
When they want a garlic loaf with cheese
You know that's when they always come to me

If the plate I can see it, then I can fry it
for $1.99 extra, then I can poutine it

I believe I can fry
So that that I'm in the sky
Fry your plates every night and day
Sauce these wings then fry away
Now the fries they want more
Try not to slip on this greasy floor
I believe I can fry
I believe I can fry
I believe I can fry

Wait Staff calling out to me, oh

If the plate I can see it, then i can fry it
For $1.99 extra I can poutine it

I believe I can fry
So that that I'm in the sky
Fry your plates every night and day
Sauce these wings and fry away
Now the Fries they want more
Try not to slip on this greasy floor
I believe I can fry
I believe I can fry
I believe I can fry

Hey, I'll just sauce these wings
I can fry
I can fry, hey
What sauce are these wings?
I can fry
I can fry-eye-eye

Well that's it, sorry there's so much repetition but that's how R. Kelly wrote his song, he didn't have time to waste, there were people to pee on. So Colin, ya big knucklehead, I hope you enjoy it back home, tell your sister I said shalom, and enjoy your new job opening doors for the Adams Family.