Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Ain't Life Punny

I remember a time, back in high school when I got into trouble in geometry class, I was frustrated with the material and I lashed out at the teacher, she sent me to detention for going off on a tangent. I didn't think I was a bad math student, turns out I just couldn't see the sines.

I remember a brief period of time when I wanted to be a police officer, I even went to the police academy, they partnered me up with a guy who had severe epileptic attacks, one day in training we were a bit overzealous and went a bit too far on a routine traffic check, we were kicked out for performing an illegal search and seizure.

I remember one of my first girlfriends, she was a bit intimidating because she was a spy, ultimately the relationship ended because she was always bugging me.

I remember one time I had just gotten out of the shower, and discovered there were no clean towels, scrambling I reached for some paper towel, as I was drying my face somebody started shooting at me. When I asked why he was attacking me, he said it was because there was a Bounty on my head.

I remember one time I wanted to be a doctor, I gave up that dream because I didn't have the patience.

I remember one time I was hanging out with a group of friends, I was eating a bag of chips, and despite the large target I ended up missing my mouth. Suddenly I became even more sarcastic and sharp-tongued, all my friends decided to leave, and when I asked why they told me it was because I had a chip on my shoulder.

I remember when my dad broke his leg and had to use crutches, I love spending time with dad, but it was hard to walk places with him then because they were always holding him up.

If your shaking your head and groaning right now then I've done my job, yes I know, if I were a horse they'd have to put me down, because I'm quite lame.

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