A lifetime of causing malice and harm to innocent chickens makes one lose his grip on reality
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
The Chicken Hero saga Chapter 12: Two can dine........IN HELL
It had been a quiet few months for the chicken hero. With the Deboner left completely flaccid at his hands, he toiled away at the daily doldrums of the chicken harvest. During this time, the harvest had seen some new faces, and some returning ones as well. The chicken hero was happy to see the return little Jamieus the magical elf, an often happy go lucky fellow thanks to the help of his magical plant, well some say it was magical, others say it was cursed, for it caused a need to latch on to others at will. Often times when the sun started to sink in the west and the sundial read IV the wenches of the harvest would find themselves in his embrace. Also there was a new Tylerus, he was taller in stature than the previous Tylerus, and never used his name in sentences. Tylerus as a boy was raised by racoons and adapted their ways, wearing the black mask that they do, and often eating whatever scraps he could find. There were also the old faces still present, ruler of the harvest Petrus the second, who was well loved but ruled with an iron fist, his son Petrus the thrice, who smoked many cigarettes and ruled with an iron lung. There was the brother of the chicken hero Robbieus whose strength was legendary, as legend has it when little Tylerus had to leave for schooling he missed his wagon, so Robbieus picked him up and hurled him to his destination...........he was never seen again.
Yes, life was quiet at the chicken harvest. Another harvest had opened across the country, and there was another being constructed atop Pearl Mountain, so it was interesting to the hero where the townsfolk would go for their food. It still amazed him how they came in droves every day, he had been at the harvest for many moons and still did not know why the villagers didn't have their own fire pits. To kill time when not at the harvest, at the request of Jamieus the magical elf, the hero took up a sport called bowling, in which competitors hurled rocks in an attempt to knock sticks over. They comprised a team with the youngest son of Petrus the second, Stevius the Minstrel, and Brendanus the Gronk, whose mighty screams of his "LOOK AT THAT CURVE" could be heard for towns over. Yes, life was quiet, perhaps a little too quiet, the chicken hero always looked over his shoulder, for his epic battles had been known throughout the land. He had heard the rumors of chickens being deboned in other villages, but he was certain that he had vanquished the Deboner, and he would never rise up again.
Just then he saw a magical bird swoop down into the harvest, it was a messenger pigeon, though this one was darker than most, oh, it was a homie pigeon, he should have known by the needless amount of gold on it's beak and talons. After dropping the scroll down, and stealing a roll(they often stole rolls) the bird flew off, and the hero rolled down the parchment to read the words, but he was not prepared for the words that he read. The high council of chicken elders had decreed that not only one villager, but two villagers could come in and dine at the harvest for mere schillings, it was like giving away food, something that Bogeyus the Seldom would not approve of. Bogeyus the Seldom was a man of literature and numbers, but he was seldom seen by the boys of the harvest, it was foretold by the ancient chicken prophecy that when the chicken was high, Bogeyus wasn't nigh, but if the chicken was low, Bogeyus would show. Despite that the chicken hero was fond of Bogeyus, for he often helped him, and he admired his undying loyalty to both his sons.
Petrus the second had heard word that messengers had been sent out to deliver the pieces of paper to the townsfolk, and he urged his men to stop them at all costs, for if the townsfolk got wind of this, there could be a riots in the streets. The hero packed up his thin yet impenetrable chicken string and set out to stop the the messengers, but he feared it was too late, for off in the distance, over the hills came wave after wave of people, the dust rising to the sky resembled the massive fires that Petrus the thrice would have in the fire pit, or the cloud of smoke coming from Jaime the magical elf's wagon. Two by two the people descended on the harvest, waving paper after paper at the serving wenches, poor Marias the ancient(who many moons ago had been hexed with a curse that made her have to say hello to everyone) almost fell over from running to greet and serve everyone. Just then as the hero and his band of men set out on feeding all the ravenous patrons, the hero saw a man off in the distance, smoke was rising off him and he appeared to be floating. "Ah, Jamieus must back from his break" he thought, but Jamieus was in fact next to him.
The chicken hero ran as fast as he could, but he found that no matter how fast he ran he could not catch up, once he realized he was running the wrong way, he muttered some choice words for the town people for re-organizing the roads and went off into the right direction. As he neared where he had saw the strange man, he rubbed his eyes, for he could not believe it, the man was actually floating, this was not the work Jamieus the magical elf's special plant, this went beyond anything he had seen. Before the hero could speak he was cut off "Now listen, I am King Cluck, lord of the underworld......and the dance. For centuries I have watched as your people have devoured my minions, and come back for no more. Well I say it stops today, it was I who sent those papers around, it was I who will swoop in and take the souls of your townsfolk, and they will be too full and tired to do anything about it." The hero stood confused, he hadn't even asked what his evil scheme was, what was about him that made villains divulge their evil schemes? Was it because he had a trusting face? He would never know.
Regaining his focus, the hero screamed "You want those people, you will have to go through me!" Just then King Cluck floated right on through him, the hero was taken aback at the very literal answer to his threat, he had been shown up, nobody ever showed him up before, had he just been violated? cause it felt like he was just violated. He had no time to wall as just then two flaming chickens started kicking their way towards him. "It's time to turn up the heat with my kickin chickens, feel their wrath." The hero was trapped, these chickens were mean, and they smelled delicious, but he knew he had to eliminate them, rolling out his trusty chicken string he bobbed and weaved, jumped and dove, tying them in such a way they were now kicking each other. "Impressive" said King Cluck "but you will not be the Victor this day."
"My name is not Victor, it's the chicken hero" and with that he charged, but as he did the ground started to open up in places. What King Cluck didn't know was that he been used to the holes in the ground at the chicken harvest and new how to dodge, with a mighty leap the hero jumped and wrapped his trusty chicken string all around the evil king, that is he would have, had the King not vanished like a tray of baked desserts around the serving wenches. Suddenly a voice filled the air "You win this round hero, but mark my words, you haven't seen the last of me!" And the chicken hero knew this to be true, for he had forgotten his cape.
Returning to the harvest, the hero placed the cape into the lost and found strongbox, as he sat to relax he caught a whiff of the strangest smell, it appeared to be sulfur but he wasn't sure. The hero asked Christoph the dish ogre which way the wind was blowing, he replied "Southwest, huh huh huh" and walked away, Christoph was a man of few words indeed. The hero looked at the western skies and they were black, like Kennyus' the cook's wings were black, and it was then he knew the quiet was shattered, and harvest would not be at peace for very long more.
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