A dog's life

 This is the story of a dog named Tocc, my father's faithful and loyal friend for the past 12 years.  Actually, we should have always included the number 2 in her name, as she was named in tribute to the first Tocc, and English setter and loving and loyal member of our family for 13 years.  After Tocc the first passed away my mom and dad were heartbroken, they had seen their kids grow and move away in the years prior so Tocc, and our other dog Bear(where my dog gets his namesake) were good company, who they could look after, and let's face it they probably kept the house cleaner then we did growing up.  When Tocc the first and Bear unexpectedly passed away in the year of 2001 there was a void in their home, and with that enter Tocc the second, another English Setter puppy that bore a frightening resemblance to Tocc the first, so much so that she would growl at the picture of Tocc the first that mom and dad had up on the wall, with that the picture had to come down for a while, as to ease the mind trip that was surely happening to the young Tocc the second.

  Tocc was immediately spoiled, and the love that was showered upon Tocc the first and Bear was easily transferred to her. She was an easy puppy to love, as they all are, content to nestle in your neck, and so easily amazed and curious at all the new things surrounding her, and like most puppies she couldn't wait to experience them, and in most cases pee on them.  While the dogs that came before would never be forgotten Tocc did what she could to fill the void, and gave back every bit of love that was doted upon her, the treats, well they were just a bonus.

   It was two years after Tocc entered the household that mom said goodbye after a long hard fight, and as much as you try to prepare for things like this, you can never truly prepare.  My dad, like all of us, and her friends lost a part of us that could never be brought back, and he now had to adapt to life on his own, but he was never truly alone, as Tocc made it her mission to make sure he always had company.  Dogs are a truly wondrous animal, they have an ability to sense a person's emotion like no animal I know.  There were times when Tocc, who would be in a completely separate room would sense dad when he was missing mom the most and would always run to his aid, jump in his lap, and give him a warm kiss on the cheek as if to say it would be okay, she was here.

  The bond between Tocc and dad grew ever stronger, she was more and more spoiled as time went on, it was the running joke of my brother Robbie and I that for supper Tocc would have steak while dad would have a hot dog, not knocking hot dogs, they are delicious, and I am sure Tocc would eat the hot dogs, hell she would eat the hot dogs and the steak, but dad never cared as long as she was looked after. Like most dogs, she tested the limits of what she could away, often defiling the place or chewing things while dad was working to support her expensive steak habit. Dad would scold her of case, and there would be multiple instances of her tucking her tail between her legs, but the steaks never stopped coming, and there was always a place on his lap for her to sit.

  Last October Tocc said goodbye to the home she grew up in, it was torn down to give dad a smaller, sleeker, more comfortable home.  I went out a couple of days before the house was torn down to say good bye and take any reminders I wanted, and I took Tocc with me to give dad a little more time to the the house full of so many memories, and the life he had built.  We were all looking forward to the change that was coming, and what it would mean for dad, little did we know that we would be getting more change then we bargained for.

  Tocc died this past Monday....... finally succumbing to a fight that she could never win.  She had developed a tumor on her mammary gland that if operated on would only buy her maybe six months at best, and because it never seemed to bother her, she was still so playful and full of energy, we just let her live out her days as comfortable as possible. Last week the infection set in, we took her to the vet on Friday thinking it was probably her last trip, but we were relieved to bring her home with some antibiotics with a promise to bring her back on Tuesday for a follow up, but on Monday she decided she didn't want to fight anymore. Dad and I were with her, what's funny to me is that she had stopped breathing while dad was in the bathroom, I lifted her head and she started to breath again just as dad came into the room. She would not go until she saw him, and fittingly he was the last thing she saw when she took her last breath.

  It is hard to see dad so lost, and it is hard to look over in the chair where we she so often laid, I take comfort in knowing she is not suffering anymore, and she is somewhere where there is a lot of bones and chew toys. I don't know if there is a dog heaven but I would hope that it is just one endless belly rub or ear scratch or one big field where she can run and play, rest easy pretty girl, thanks for taking care of dad.

Oh for the love of God

*may not be picture of actual pope*

                                                



   Today marked a historic day as the world has seen the election of a new pope.  The Cardinals(who choked in playoffs last year but get to decide a pope, go figure) came to a decision rather quickly, probably because they were locked in a room for days and one or more most likely had to use the bathroom.  After the pomp and circumstance that goes with the naming of a new pope, the world was introduced to Jorge Boogaloo who apparently is the cardinal of funk..........wait............what's that........not Boogaloo........can't even dance.......well this is embarrassing my sources are telling me that his actual name is Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Argentina.  Bergoglio is not only the first pope from the Americas, but he is also the first Jesuit pope, his people's legendary frugalness obviously and enticing factor for the Vatican to save money.  I imagine the new pontiff calling home to his stereotypical Jewish mother and instead of getting congratulations getting a condescending "How come you never call me anymore? Oh sure the big man, Mr. Pope, has no time for the woman who gave him life, Oi."

  In today's social media filled world, it is rare that news about such a big event doesn't slip out. I mean you can go on Facebook and see who is doing laundry and when but nobody, not even Tom Hanks, was able to get behind the walls and figure out who had the advantage.  The only way people could get updates was from the type of smoke that was coming from the conclave chimney. Now watching Lost has taught me that when a group of people in a tight location see black smoke, there is trouble coming and someone may not make it out alive. I can't help but wonder how intense these conclave elections get, I know that each cardinal drops a vote in to a big vat, but what if it is in fact the eliminated cardinals that are dropped in to the vats, hey the smoke has to come from somewhere and what better way to show that the Vatican means business then using the losers as firewood.

  There were a few main candidates being tossed around for consideration, and maybe literally, if the election got physical. One candidate was from Canada, Quebec if memory serves me correct, I hear he lost interest in the position when he was told he couldn't substitute Labatt's for holy water.  Another top contender was from Africa, and would have been the first elected pope of color, his strong love of Jesus rivaled by his strong love of fried chicken, he did not win any fans when he showed up with a blinged out crucifix, and diamond encrusted pimp stick.  Finally, another strong candidate was from America, I wanna say Boston, but honestly I am too lazy, though can you imagine a pope from Boston, "This is gonna be a wicked pahdy, let's get tanked..........Yankees suck."

  As I was saying before, it is rare in this modern work a day world where on old ritual still stands up at its basic core, and the process of picking a new pope has barely changed. One couldn't help but wonder if the Vatican changed with the times and went more modern, creating a reality game show as a way to choose a new pope. If it ever happened that I would be the one in charge of picking a new pope, that is what I would do, make a game of it, and here are a few of my ideas:

- The Amazing Grace: in which two cardinals race all over the world, first team who gets to the Vatican wins, then fight to the death, winner gets pope.

- So you think you can pope? Cardinals filled with love of Jesus and soul bust out dance moves in an attempt to impress the judges.

- Cardinal's got talent: cardinal's show off their unique talents to a panel of judges, which includes Howard Stern for some reason.

- Big Father: all the papal candidates are locked in a house surrounded by cameras, backstabbing and plotting commence until the last cardinal remaining is elected pope.

   In closing, I would like to congratulate the new pope, and give him props on taking the name Francis, cause now his name is like my name.  Being the leader of the Catholic church is certainly not easy, and he has a lot of questions to answer, can he restore trust in the church? Can he relate to a younger more modern group of people? Does he in fact poop in the woods? Only time will tell and for all he roadblocks he must face, he must remember one thing, he has an awesome hat now.