My interview with the Quidi Vidi Iceberg

This is what is left of the Iceberg that has taken Quidi Vidi by storm over the past two weeks.  It's imprssive size on top is nothing to it's size on the bottom, much like a soulful African American woman.  Pictures all over Facebook show flocks of people posing in front of the structure, some even climbing it and jumping off of it.  All this attention has led me to wonder, do all these people that go visit the iceberg care about how it feels about being gawked at all day long? Has anybody asked why it's here? did it get lost from his iceberg friends? or is it just on vacation? I awaited for all the photo hogs to clear out and asked Mr. iceberg for an interview (I just assume it was male, though the cold icy stare I first received reminded me of most looks I get from women) and he generously accepted.

MCC:  So....umm....Mr. Berg, can I call you Mr. Berg?

Berg:  Sure, yeah, go ahead it's all good.

MCC: Thanks, so what brings you to town?

Berg: Well I always heard Newfoundland was a beautiful province, and you are always killing those pesky seals that climb all over me and use me as a diving board, so I'm grateful for that.

MCC: So it's just coincidence that your here during the anniversary of the Titanic sinking? I mean your not here to recreate what happened with any of our ships today are you?

Berg: No offense but I've seen some of your fairy boats, a gust of wind could knock them over, there is no challenge there.

MCC: Ouch, take that Marine Atlantic, so have you seen James Cameron's Titanic? What are your thoughts?

Berg: I haven't seen it, it's hard to get television in the middle of the ocean, oh but a ship did run into me once and I think it was playing in the entertainment hall.

MCC: You didn't find the irony of that situation even just a little funny?

Berg: No I was mostly distracted by the terrified screams and rampant attempts to swim to shore.

MCC: Ummm makes sense I guess.....wow... well let's change the subject to a happier topic, are you happy about the popularity of Iceberg vodka? It's had to give you great exposure.

Berg: THAT VODKA IS MADE FROM MY COUSIN FRED...... I WATCHED YOUR PEOPLE HACK AND CHISEL HIM TO PIECES.....AND FOR WHAT......FOR YOUR DRINKS TO BE COLDER

MCC: I'm.....I'm sorry.....I didn't know......please stop crying

Berg: I'M NOT CRYING, I'M MELTING YOU IDIOT, IT'S LIKE 2O DEGREES HERE.

MCC: Mr. Berg please calm down, I didn't mean any dis.....

Berg: You people never mean any disrespect...you come down here all hours of the day snapping pictures, jumping all over me, your no worse then those seals, people should club you, especially the Mexcians.

MCC: Well sir.....wait....what?

Berg: YOU HEARD ME.

MCC: Well I guess this interview is over, do you have any final words for the people of St. John's?

Berg:  I just wanted to come here for a visit, I heard it was a peaceful place, and you have ruined it, I am literally beside myself because apparently you have never seen an iceberg before.  I just wanted to be left alone, but you fight for my attention like some teenage girl whose daddy doesn't love her enough, you should all be ashamed.

 MCC: There you have it folks, I guess it's true what they say about icebergs, there is a lot more going on underneath the surface, like seething anger with a touch of mild racism, Mr. Berg, before you drift away can I ask one favor?

Berg: What is it?

MCC: Well you see it's a warm day....and my Dr. Pepper has gotten warm.....do you mind if I just.....

Berg: *sigh* go ahead

MCC:  *chisels some ice* Thanks man, much better.